Paul Sharkey's Days

I'm being hospitable!

2011-09-05T19:05:00.001+01:00

Sometimes you have a choice who to let into your house - and sometimes you don't (like the deranged psycho, covered in blood with torn clothing who forced his way into our house in early July! But, that's for another day..). Again, on this particular occasion I didn't have a choice, but it's not my house, it's my throat.
Yes, one of natures little (very little) viruses has popped in for a visit. The trouble is that it has caused quite a disturbance during its stay. The first sign of its arrival was a bit of a sore throat and a headache on Saturday evening, getting worse through Sunday, until today I am a coughing sneezing wreck! Poor Susie has got to listen to me doing impressions of her car refusing to start. In fact, I think I sound worse than her car. The trouble was that my car was booked into the garage this morning and I didn't want to cancel it and I've got to go back to pick it up tomorrow! That will be an effort and a half. So, ordinary life is cancelled. And, so it shall remain for a few days. I'll update you when health and time permit!

MS and the last six months..

2011-08-28T23:04:00.000+01:00

I retired at the end of January this year (2011). A few years back I would have been shocked at the prospect of having to give up work so early. But, none of us knows what is round the corner and having become ill in 2007, diagnosed in 2008, giving up the dental practice side of my career in 2009, numbness and stiffness in my right hand in 2010 leading to difficulty in teaching the dental students hands-on practical skills and the safety concerns of using a dental handpiece (drill) on a patient thereafter. So, when it came to being retired earlier this year, I must confess that it actually came as a relief!

MS can affect any part of your body. It's a neurological illness - in other words, it primarily affects your brain and your spinal cord, so if it damages nerves then wherever those nerves travel to will be affected.

The myelin sheath (think of the plastic covering on a speaker cable) is damaged in MS leading to poor transmission of electrical signals, or possibly no signals getting through at all. On an MRI scan these damaged areas appear as white areas damaged by the illness.

For me, there have been a variety of symptoms. After an episode six or seven years ago now (which I now recognise as MS, but didn't at the time), my vision became temporarily blurred, my balance was affected then for about two weeks and the only lasting effect was that my ability to remember how to spell certain words has never come back! My wife and colleagues at work got used to me asking them how to spell the simplest of words. I just have a blank sometimes and literally can't remember words which are very familiar to me. The same goes for peoples names too! So, if I can't remember your name when I meet you - please don't be offended!

So, spelling hasn't been so good.

Then my walking and balance and then my right hand were affected. But, I find the most frustrating symptom is fatigue and exhaustion. It makes sense, when you think about it - MS is a disease of the brain and spinal cord - so, things like cognitive function and fatigue make a lot of sense. I find that I am reasonably able in the morning to do a little mental work - all the usual stuff, like sorting out paperwork or something on the computer. Once I get to about 2pm the energy has gone and I feel totally drained. Thinking becomes hard and cognitive ability definitely slows down.

On top of that I've spent quite a lot of time in the urology department of one of the local hospitals: several outpatient appointments and one day visit for a general anaesthetic. On a lighter note, it turned out that I used to work with the anaesthetist years ago. We caught up for a few minutes before he put me off to sleep! So that's the state of things just now. I'm on various pain killers which work pretty well and I'm on a daily injection of Copaxone, which is no bother at all. Susie gives it to me once in a while. It's a wife's dream, isn't it? - sticking needles in her husband!

(Images borrowed from the WWW - hope the WWW doesn't mind!)

A huge apology!

2011-08-28T22:03:00.000+01:00

What can I say? It's been at least six months since I updated this blog. I offer huge apologies to you if you've been popping back now and again to look for any updates. Well, I'm starting again now and planning on updating at least once a week. Here goes....

Susie turns 50!

2011-02-13T11:54:00.000Z

Another celebration at Anne's house.
Cupcakes are the order of the day!

Well, the calendar says 2011, so, if you subtract the year Susie was born - 1961, then I'm sorry to have to confirm that the result is 50! Yes Susie, you've just reached your half-century!

Susie was determined to keep her 50th birthday low-key. But, friends and colleagues had a different understanding of what low-key actually meant!

The first celebration took place in Elgin at Susie's sister Linda's house in early January. Since Susie's twin, Pauline, was going to be in India for their actual birthday it was decided to hold a celebration a few weeks early. After a lovely meal with what members of the family could be there, Linda presented the twins with a copy each of a family album Linda had researched. Her research went back generations into the mid-19th century and the photographs she found to about 1895. What a treasure! Linda had been working on this research for 18 months - and what a result! Thanks, Linda, from all of us.

Birthday meal at Crieff Hydro.

When Susie's actual birthday came along later in January, we took a couple of day's holiday in Crieff Hydro in Perthshire, Scotland to mark the event. Susie, being Susie, wanted to resist the acknowledging of the ageing process and went quad-biking on the morning of her 50th! It was a great couple of days. Crieff Hydro is a great place to chill, or to be active, just as you please. The hotel is in a vast area of land and apart from indoor swimming pools, gym, sauna, cinema and a beautiful Edwardian Garden Cafe (where you can sit all day reading and drinking coffee if you wish), there is golf, horse riding, off-roading, the aforementioned quad-biking, walks, etc. outside for those who wish to partake in these activities. We've been there several times over twenty years, and guess what? We've booked to go again in March, since we liked it so much!

Coming back home, our friend Anne had asked a few friends round for a Sunday lunch. After the meal, a plate of cupcakes with birthday candles came out and we all sand 'happy birthday' all over again!

Susie and 'the ladies' from Cumbernauld.

Friends from Cumbernauld took Susie out for yet another celebratory meal. They went to The Grill on the Corner in Glasgow, where the food, I'm told, was superb and a very happy evening was had by all. Thank you ladies for your kindness.

Susie's final birthday celebration was provided by her work colleagues who took her for a meal to celebrate and presented her with a birthday cake adorned with photos from her growing up years (I was partially to blame for that). They also gave us vouchers for a night in the luxurious Cameron House Hotel on Loch Lomond. Thank you so much for that. So, a new decade begins! Let's look ahead to see where our good God will lead you in these coming days and years! Happy birthday, Susie!

Retired

2011-02-02T21:07:00.001Z

Well, it's finally happened: I'm retired.
The management of the University quite rightly started the ball rolling in August or September 2009 in the procedure of retiral through ill-health. Part of the reason I've not been updating the blog is that I didn't want to comment on the process when it was part way through, so I've intentionally waited until it had run its course to completion. So, here I am, retired at 50. As I mentioned in a previous post, I developed tingling and numbness in my right hand and could no longer safely hold dental instruments. Therefore, I could no longer do my job: dentistry or teaching (much of my teaching was 'hands-on'). I will miss dentistry, the patients and possibly most of all, the students. They are so kind to me - whether looking out for me in corridors and at doors, or making sure I have everything I needed in the canteen - carrying trays, coffee and the like.
I feel I've been tremendously privileged to have had the trust of my patients to provide dental care and privileged to have assisted young professionals acquire the dexterous hands-on skills they need to be day-to-day dentists.
So, what next? I don't know is the answer to that. I've got a backlog of recording for the Church to get on with and after that I'll see what opens up. But for now, I'm actually quite happy it's worked out this way. Watch this space for the next instalment!

Susie's 50th birthday is approaching!

2010-09-03T22:15:00.000+01:00

Susie, my wife, has always wanted a personalised registration number, what the Americans call a licence plate. I've given in! We bought it now even although her birthday isn't for another four months. She's delighted with it and will transfer the number onto her car sometime soon. Here it is:

Injections - arrgghh!

2010-09-03T22:11:00.000+01:00

The Rebismart Device

I saw the MS consultant in March for my annual review. That appointment coincided with the numbness that had developed in my legs. The consultant ordered an MRI scan (see a previous post for the images) and a review appointment in June this year. By the time I saw the consultant in June, I had also developed numbness in my right hand. The consultant said that he would have to reconsider the diagnosis of PPMS (primary progressive multiple sclerosis) as I was obviously experiencing some classic 'relapses' - more like RRMS (relapsing remitting multiple sclerosis). As I had had two relapses in quite a short time, he recommended that I begin self-injecting with Rebif - one of the interferon - beta drugs, which acts by reducing the immune response and cuts down the progression of MS by about 20%. The injection is three times weekly and administered with a trendy little gadget called the Rebismart. It's very easy to use and obviously has a little on-board computer which guides me through the whole procedure. Yes, there's a short needle involved, but, it's never seen and hardly hurts at all. Having given thousands of injections over many years to dental patients I consider this my just desserts. Payback time!
It does have some side effects - I can feel pretty ill and washed out for a day or two after injecting, I've had itchiness of my hands, pain in my feet and there's a risk of serious liver damage! Therefore, regular blood tests are necessary. I've just reached the highest maintenance dose and I'll report back soon as to how I'm getting on.

Apologies for the late MS update.

2010-09-03T21:51:00.000+01:00

I really need to apologise. It's been too long since I last posted anything, and truth be told, there has been too much going on and I wasn't quite sure how much to commit to the very public internet!

I posted quite a lot about the problem I had with my legs and the lower half of my body in general. That is a lot better, but some of the numbness and other physical effects remain. Just when I was getting back to work in May I developed tingling in my right hand. This got worse until I had a partial numbness and stiffness which has been with me now for about four months. This has stopped me working in dental clinics and teaching the students at Glasgow Dental School as I can't hold the dental handpiece (drill) safely as I might drop it. I have been attending work and doing a desk job for the last few months. My employers are very aware of the situation and I know that unless there is dramatic improvement soon then my future in dentistry is in serious doubt. This is very sad for me, as I've always loved my job and considered it a privilege to work with patients and then latterly young people entering the profession currently in their undergraduate years. I've been somewhat reticent about posting information about my hand problems as I'm aware of the serious implications for me if this continues. I'll post quite soon with an update on this.

MS update June 2010

2010-06-27T23:26:00.002+01:00

Update:

Well, it's been an interesting month and I'm not talking about the world cup! I posted before that I had developed numbness from the waist down; well, that's resolved to a great extent, or to an extent that I don't notice it too much. If I touch my legs and feet there is still 'altered sensation' but, I think my brain has just got used to it and I can drive and have been back at work. When I had just developed the aforementioned numbness I happened to have my annual review with the specialist MS consultant, which was good. I explained the situation to him and he didn't say that he would have to review the diagnosis of primary progressive MS (PPMS), but explained that, these diseases don't necessarily fit into the man-made categories that academics like! So, he ordered an MRI scan to see if there had been any significant change in the brain scan. I'll have to read up on this as I imagined that more would be seen on a scan of the spinal cord, but, the outcome is the same in any case.

So, I went for the MRI scan and it really is no bother at all. You just lie very still in this long metal tube that buzzes and makes clicking noises. This time a contrast medium was used to highlight different parts of the brain. When I went for the review appointment just a week or so ago, I asked the consultant if I could have a few of the images for my own photo album - so here they are! (remember to click for the full-size image)

The front of my head is to the top of the picture.

This is the same view of my head but with a contrast medium injected just before the scan was taken. All the blood vessels and 'sinuses' are highlighted.

This is a view from the side of my head a 'sagittal' view. If you look to the front of my head (that's on the left of the picture) you'll notice that my nose is missing. It's OK, though, they added it in at the back (look where the red arrow is pointing!), at least they got it in!

More complications!

So, where was I? Oh, yes. The numbness in my lower half began to recede. It's not away, but, I can live with it. I wanted to get back to work (this would be at the beginning of May), so, I saw my GP and arranged that. The day after I saw my doctor, I began to get tingling in my right hand! Oh no! It has got steadily worse until all the fingers are affected to some degree and the palm of my hand too. More worrying for me is the fact that the 'motor function' (that is the strength and dexterity of control) seems to be affected too. So, writing is difficult. I can do it, but, slowly and only for about half a page. From a dental point of view, I can't teach or treat patients as I can't take the risk, so, I spoke to our Head of School and told him what was going on. The dental school has been really great to me throughout all of this and allowed me to pursue a desk job, really, for the last two months and will review matters at the end of July.

Up to date:

Well, things are much the same. I can drive and hold a cup, but trying to do anything more delicate than that is difficult. Interestingly, the consultant said that since I have had two 'relapses' in quite a short time that he is keen that I try some of the 'disease modifying' drugs which are available. Great, that just means popping more pills? Actually, no. I've got to inject myself approximately every two days! I get my own syringes and needles, etc., and after I've been trained to do it (a dentist!!), I've got to make this a disciplined and regular part of my life. The MS nurse sent me a link to a website with several demonstrations of patients doing there own injections...Mmm. I know, I know..I'm a dentist and have been injecting patients for years and years and now, well, I'm not too keen at having to inject myself! Do you have sympathy for me? No, I didn't think so!

A New MS Friend:

I was at a dental study day recently, when I got chatting to a very nice lady whom I've spoken to before, but not for some time. She had obviously discovered that I've got MS and revealed to me that her daughter who is in her early 20s has MS too. She mentioned a few things relating to her daughter, and it came into my mind that I'd like to be in contact with this young lady and quiz her on her own experience. So, we've exchanged quite a few emails in just a few days. To say she's been helpful and informative is an understatement! I don't think I've 'met' anyone so knowledgeable on MS ever. Jenna, thanks! You've been a great help!

Armed Forces Day, 2010

I like to finish with a photo. We went to the Glasgow Armed Forces Day to show support for our serving, injured and veteran soldiers; and, especially to pause and remember those who have given their lives in the many past and present conflicts. It was good to see all those who turned out for the events in George Square. After the speeches, marching, an amazing flypast of a Dakota (four times!), there was music and a dance group called the Kennedy Cupcakes doing some 1940s routines. Predictably, Matthew got his photo taken with them!

Loch Tay Crannog Centre

2010-06-04T14:48:00.003+01:00

I've been interested in crannogs for years. I read about what Stephen Lawhead imagined life would be like in a crannog in his fictional Celtic trilogy. Since then I've discovered that scores of crannogs remains have been discovered in Scottish lochs. A crannog is a dwelling place built on stakes or perhaps an artificial island on water. The remains are plentiful. Even as locally as Loch Lomond, it had been known for a long time that some of the islands appeared to be man-made. A couple of the conglomerations of stones are easily visible at the east end of Loch Tay. These are bronze age dwellings. On Loch Tay, a crannog has been reconstructed as a tourist attraction and also as a means of raising money for the continued underwater excavations which are revealing a wealth of artifacts.

This photo is from the Royal Signals Association website and it's a lot better than the pictures I took!

There is a small museum at the centre with some of the artifacts that have been recovered from the loch. The difference between land archeology and underwater archeology is that under water much of the organic material is preserved, such as wooden objects or a bracken floor that collapsed into the water. They're recovered everyday wooden utensils and some of the large timbers that would once have supported the crannog. Because of the cold they give you a blanket cape to wear and give you the guided tour of the place. I loved it.

After seeing the reconstructed crannog, the guide (a girl called Marion) demonstrated several ways that bronze age people would have cut wood, ground corn or made fire! That was amazing. She spun two bits of wood together until there was literally a tiny mound of smoldering sawdust. This was then put in a 'fire bowl' of fine wood shavings, and straw, etc. She then began to gently blow and blow and blow. I thought she was going to be smoked into failure, but, she persisted until the flames burst into life - and we were all really impressed! For anyone interested in Scottish history and archeology it's a great day out. The historians and archaeologists can only speculate why crannogs would be built in the first place. Could it have been for security? Well, possibly, but there weren't all that many people around in those days to be a threat. Could crannogs have been built to protect their farm animals and the people themselves from wild animals - wolves and bears? Possibly. But then, I discovered the real reason! Twenty-feet out into the water...there are no midges! These bronze-age folks weren't daft!

Matthew returns home..

2010-06-04T13:34:00.002+01:00

It was a great delight to welcome Matthew home after his time in Afghanistan in the armed forces! I photographed him as he walked up the platform at Glasgow Central Station dragging his army box behind him with all his belongings in it. Susie and I felt a huge relief at his safe homecoming after what must have been an arduous six months. I know a lot of friends and family are glad to see him home too. I thank you for all your prayers over this last tour of duty. They are so very much appreciated.

I really hope and pray that Matthew's time at home will be restful and refreshing. I think it's important to know that there is a haven of rest where the soul as well as mind and body can recover in peace without troubling. It's important to know that home is still there! Remember the prodigal son in his hour of deepest darkness and despair, coming to his senses and saying "I will arise and go to my father's house!" He just knew that his father's house would still be there! A place of stability and refreshing peace. I hope Matthew finds that here at home.

Summer's here!

2010-06-04T13:21:00.002+01:00

Let's forget about the winter now that summer's here! It's a glorious day today with that lovely warmth in the air that makes it feel so summery (if that's a word). I sat outside this morning with a book and a cup of tea. Who could ask for more?

Health update I had another MRI scan a few days ago which followed on from my episode of numbness from the waist down. It's a strange experience. They make you get changed into 'scrubs' - the sort of pyjama clothing that hospital staff work in these days. They also make sure there is nothing metallic on you or in you (like a stainless steel repair to your bones or clamps to blood vessels) that would heat up during the scan. Ear plugs duly placed and then your head is well and truly clamped back and sides with a weird basket-like contraption over your face that looks like a Norman knight's helmet. Thereafter, you are slid into the large tube head first and told to lie as still as you can. A squeezy rubber bulb is given to you in case you feel you urgently have to get out of the MRI scanner. Actually, it sounds worse than it is. Some patients understandably find it a bit claustrophobic as it's like lying in the locker above your seats on an aeroplane, but, I could fall asleep quite easily if it wasn't for the noise. Once they start the scan, it buzzes every few seconds: a grating metallic noise that I think would be intolerable without the earplugs. The whole process lasts about 30 - 40 minutes. This time I was taken out midway through to give me an intravenous injection of a contrast medium which will no doubt show the MRI in glorious technicolor! So, that was that. I go back in a fortnight to hear what the consultant's got to say about it all. I'm going to ask him if there's any way I can get some of the images to post here! I've seen them before. The MRI takes 'cuts' or 'tomographs' every few millimetres through your head. The one I really don't like is the section through brain and eyeballs. It looks disgusting!

I did manage to get back to work a few weeks ago and our management have been very accommodating in allowing me more suitable work while I'm still coping with some numbness. Bless them all! And I mean that.

Seven weeks!

2010-04-14T20:59:00.000+01:00

Including the week I had off work for my birthday, I've now been off work for almost seven weeks! The numbness and associate problems I previously mentioned have improved a good bit, but annoyingly my lower legs and feet are still affected so walking is still a bit difficult. I'm seeing the doc again this week, so that will be good to touch base with the medical profession and see where I stand.

In the interim, there has been lots taking place. We decided to get a timber floor laid in the lounge as the joiner we have used quite a lot contacted us to let us know that the oak flooring was on special offer and now was a good time to order it. When we did our sums it turned out that we were saving a lot of money if we got this done now. Then I had a thought that if we wanted any electrical alterations done now was a good time, before a shiny new floor was laid. So, we had an electrician in last week putting in a few additional sockets and by special request a couple of floor sockets so that laptop cables wouldn't have to stretch half-way across our fairly large lounge. I'm hoping to successfully get surround sound audio cables in too (I've got a couple of them in already) before the floor is laid on Saturday. Once it's all done you will all have to come and have a look!

Some of the time I've found quite useful in getting a few things done and up to date, like putting audio and video tapes onto CD or DVD, but the days have been quite long, if I'm honest. I miss my daily chats with friends and miss the students banter and the general feeling of having people round about. When we moved out to this house three and a half years ago it seemed like a great idea with the potential for country walks, cycling and the rest. Now, it's easy to feel a bit stranded as the road outside is not suited to pedestrians - especially, one who is rather slow and cumbersome on his feet!

The good news is that we spoke to Matthew this evening on Skype in Afghanistan. Using Susie's netbook, we were able to show him alterations in the lounge and the bare floor boards we've been living on for a few weeks now (including a few holes to allow cables to be fed through)! It's good to know that he's ok.

I'm on Skype as 'anwothdad' if you want to search for me. I'll have to get a new mic, though, as my fairly new one has stopped working - so give me until the weekend to get that sorted - then please call!!

OK, I'll leave the reports there for now. I'll put a photo on too to brighten things up!

Best wishes to you all and thanks for reading. P

Annual MS review

2010-03-23T17:34:00.002Z

I went to our local neurological specialist centre today for my annual review. It's timely as I've had a marked deterioration over the last few weeks and been unable to drive and walking as well as balance is affected. Thankfully, there has been a slight improvement over the last few days so I'm hoping that I'll fully recover soon. My first question was about the diagnosis - whether he still thought it was primary progressive MS since the recent episode has been a sort of 'relapse', which I didn't think happened in PPMS. He gave the same answer to me as I've given to others, namely, that disease categories are man made for convenience and the diseases themselves don't always oblige by falling tidily into a nice academic category. Secondly, he said that relapses or similar did happen in PPMS. He wants me to have another MRI scan in about ten weeks time. I can't have it sooner as I've been on steroids which can affect the results of the scan. I've to see him again after that. I found the last MRI scan OK. I was warned about the claustrophobia risks, etc as you're inside a compact vibrating tube, but, I could have fallen asleep if it hadn't been for the noisy vibrations. He told me that symptoms could take 8 - 12 weeks to resolve, but, it was a good sign that some of the feeling was returning already. Matthew, being home just now, took me in and actually came into the consultation with me. After that? What do you think?! We went to the West End of Glasgow and had lunch. Male rule no. 1: every event should be marked by eating! (girls send greeting cards - boys eat!).

MS update March 2010

2010-03-16T11:53:00.002Z

Not been so great recently. I've developed a parasthaesia (partial numbness) in lower limbs, really the lower half of my body. It's one of those annoying things as I can't feel my feet properly, therefore it would be unwise to drive. I contacted the hospital and after they weighed up one or two of the other effects this is causing they decided I should be on some high dosage steroids for five days to try to defuse this and get it back to something like normal. So, steroids. They are used as anti-inflammatory drugs and reduce inflammation in some known ways and other ways that are not fully understood. The side effects are a general feeling of being unwell, a very red face, heart racing and difficulty sleeping and most annoying of all I get hiccoughs (hiccups for those not UK spellers!) which can last for hours and hours and stop me sleeping. I left Susie alone in the bedroom as it must have been driving her totally crazy! So, tonight is the fifth and final dose and I'll be glad to see the back of these tablets. One more day of persistent hiccoughs and then hopefully, normality.

On a positive front, I saw a pain specialist a month ago who adjusted my pain medication and I must report with some measure of delight that my pain control is better than it has been in two years. This has a knock-on effect that I have more energy in the evenings and can get more done. I'm so grateful to the staff at the Beatson in Glasgow who deal with cancer patients, but, also chronic pain patients. It has been a delightful experience. Thank you!

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-03-15T12:05:00.000Z

Susie got the best Mother's Day gift she could ever have asked for!
It went something like this....Susie's twin sister Pauline had flown up from home, near Aylesbury, at the weekend really as a surprise to me for my birthday. This was supposedly the last in a series of surprises that Susie had arranged (with some noteable accomplices). Susie was dropping Pauline at Glasgow Airport around evening Church service time when she got a call to ask her if she would mind popping into the Church on the way home to 'collect something'. Susie probably guessed that this was a late prezzy for me...they just keep coming!
So, she arrived at the Church to find our good friend Anne (feigning?) a phonecall in the foyer (truth was she wanted to witness the next part). Into the light stepped our dear son, Matthew whom we believed to be still in Afghanistan with the army. With the words "Happy Mother's Day!" and a hug he gave Susie the best present she could ever have asked for! Of course, Anne was there to witness Susie dissolving into tears and sobbing into Matthew's chest! Of course, then he arrived home here....and I went through a similar experience! Enjoy the break, Matthew.
Would you believe it Susie? the army managed to arrange this all by themselves!

So, where are the snowdrops?

2010-02-17T17:46:00.003Z

I'm going to skip the usual excuses about it being a long time since I updated this blog. C'est la vie.

Okay. It's cold. Very cold. It got down to about -15C here or thereabouts over the New Year perion, and if we thought that it was a blip in the winter weather we were wrong. It's been fairly consistently below 0C and, here we are on 16th February and it was -7C last night. The loch we live beside has been frozen over for almost two months and although it threatened to defrost on one occasion, ol' Jack Frost soon sorted that out. When it had been solidly frozen for a few weeks Susie walked across it. I'll try to put a link to a small videoclip she made. Susie walking on Carbeth Loch In fact, when the temp rose to around -2C we actually thought it was quite mild!

So, what's new?

Matthew...

Matthew is serving somewhere in Afghanistan. We're not told where. Many friends and family and even people we don't know have sent him out parcels over Christmas. Thank you for that. We appreciate your kindness deeply. Around Christmas, he was almost snowed under with all the things you sent. I think it was a temporary problem. One of his colleagues, Tommy Brown, was killed just before Christmas. Not surprisingly, this had a terrible effect on his fellows who were with him. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been - and still is - for his family. How difficult to pick yourself up and go on after losing a young son, friend, brother or husband. I don't know much else about him other than that he is much missed.

We've only heard briefly from Matthew in these last few weeks and can only assume that he is busy with the current push forward of the coalition forces. However, the night before last Susie got a message through facebook from another lad telling us that he was alright. That was good news indeed.

MS update:

There's little good news here, which I suppose is why I find this particular part of my blog hardest to write. My main difficulty is pain control. I have long-standing pain in the left side of my head. Through the kindness of a dear friend I was advised to seek a referral to a Professor of Palliative Care at the Beatson Cancer Centre in Glasgow. The building is new, light and colourful. The staff couldn't have been nicer and the Prof. himself was kind and thorough. He explained something that I should have known: namely, that although I'm feeling the pain 'in' my head - the distribution of the pain indicates that it's the sensory nerves 'on' my head causing the problem (C2, I think). In a 35 minute consultation, he asked me lots of questions and then examined me to exclude an arthritic cause. Then he listed a fair number of drugs which could be of some value to me. This was the point that Susie, who'd asked if she could come along, almost disgraced herself! As the professor went through his list he mentioned on option with other connotations: methadone. This was too much for Susie who, having worked with addicts on the street in a very compassionate way, imagined me gaunt and hunched over like many of the poor souls we've had to deal with over the years. Susie exploded into laughter! The prof. looked at her as if to say "Is there something wrong with her?" Explanations followed and all was well, but dear, dear me....
Needless to say, I left the building with a prescription which I think is helping a bit. I'm trying to reduce one of the three drugs I'm on as I feel a bit spaced out some of the time, but I'll see how it goes.

Preaching

A couple of times over the last few months I've found that a message has formed in my heart that I was keen to pass on to the Church. Interestingly enough, Alison, our minister in our Glasgow Church spoke to me a month or so ago saying that if I ever felt I could take part to let her know. So, a couple of /Sundays ago I spoke from that part of scripture where Peter says "Lord! Call me to come to you on the water!"
I wanted to convey the message that we don't have to wait until God speaks to us or in some way draws our attention (for He is always the source and initiative of all things good), but each person on this world has the ability within them to "call on the Name of the Lord". What will God say to you if you call on Him? and what would you call on Him for?

Christmas Eve 2009!

2009-12-24T17:29:00.001Z

It's cold outside, nearly -12C last night - the logs are on the fire, the dog's snoring on the couch, the tree lights are on and it's really cosy inside. Perfect for Christmas!

Susie had to work right up until today. She's now sitting on the couch with the laptop on her knee. Later we go to Anne's for a Christmas Eve dinner. Yesterday I had a day with Colin B. We went for lunch to JJ's in Partick and then up to Comet to look for a pc tower. Lots of flat screened tellies, but only two pc's neither of which was appropriate. However, it was a good day. I got up this morning at 6am since I was wide awake and wrapped Susie's Christmas presents. This is a real improvement on previous years when I would wrap them at five-to-midnight on Christmas Eve and she would open them at five past midnight. They were wrapped for ten minutes!

Anyway, wherever you are and whatever your circumstances, may I wish you the happiest Christmas you've ever had and the joy of Christ in 2010! Best wishes, Paul

MS update

2009-12-13T14:08:00.000Z

I apologise to Graham McKenzie-Smith for posting so much at once. Graham says that my blog reminds him of waiting for a bus: none appears for ages and then two or three arrive at the same time! Ooops! I did it again (mmm, I think someone else said that?). No matter. I need to include this bit.
Health is much the same. I feel very tired and run out of energy quickly. My GPs (both of whom are leaving - I hope that's nothing to do with me being on their books) have experimented with various painkillers (on me, that is). I have persistent pain in the left side of my head that can be overbearing. Due to the kindness of friends, I've been pointed in the direction of a specialist who may be able to help. I've been referred, now. Hopefully, it won't take too long to get an appointment. Tiredness affects me hugely. If I've not slept well, the pain is worse and my walking worse the next day. I do attempt to sleep, but sometimes, that seems out of our control.
Susie and I are going to visit Pauline and the folks down there between Christmas and New Year. I'm looking forward to that. Alan and I can lounge around his place with the wood-burning stove on while drinking gallons of tea. Bliss!
Watch this space for an update. Well, Graham, I hope that wasn't too long for a third entry today??

Carnoustie 2

2009-12-13T13:40:00.002Z

This will make more sense if you read the previous entry first (the one immediately below this one).

Carnoustie 2

So, the high jinx continued with lots of 'carry-on' and lots of laughter. We all enjoyed it. Here are a couple of pictures of Matthew showing off how strong he is. I hope he didn't damage his back in the process! Luckily, I'm a bit of a light-weight (as you all know), so there was no risk of him injuring himself lifting me! I forgot to mention that we had a balcony too. It overlooked one of the holes on the Carnoustie golf course, but, being a heathen as far as that particular sport is concerned, I've no idea which one.

Christmas Dinner

Last year, before Matthew left for Iraq, we had our Christmas dinner. Yes, in November! We all love Christmas, and we miss Matthew terribly when he is away, especially at that time of year. So, we brought it forward. It dawned on us that Linda and Andy (Susie's sister and her husband) would be down in this part of the world on the Saturday before Matthew left for service overseas; so, with excitement, Susie phoned Linda and suggested we all have Christmas dinner together. I think there were tears on the phone! "Yes!" was the reply to the invitation. So, the table was set and crackers were provided (by Linda and Andy) and presents were put under the tree which was hastily put up, and we were ready! Matthew had stayed away at friends the previous night and only just arrived in time! But, we had a fun time.

After the starter and main course, Susie had made one of her legendary cheesecakes, which was awaited with anticipation and eaten with great respect. It was lovely. I think it is safe to say that all of us enjoyed ourselves and it made an occasion out of, not only Christmas, but provided a good send-off meal for Matthew as he travelled to a far distant country which is in terrible turmoil. God be with you, son.

Saying goodbye to Matthew was not a parting I was looking forward to. But, I must honestly tell you that I believe a miracle took place in this regard. There was so much prayer for him and for us as a family around this time that when it came to the parting it was impossible to be upset. I mean that. Susie said goodbye at the house and I drove him to the airport at six o'clock in the morning. When we got to the airport, it was as if a cushion was around us. I found it impossible to be sad. We said our goodbyes and he was off. Just like that. Thanks to all who supported us in prayer. Now, we trust in God and pray for the next six months for his safe-keeping and safe return. I look forward to the end of May 2010!

... Well, I have been busy!

2009-12-13T12:00:00.001Z

I know, I know! All of my resolutions about keeping this blog up to date! I thought it was a few weeks since my last entry and Jane kindly pointed out last night that it was October that I last made an entry. Oh, dear! I know what my New Year's resolution is going to have to be. This just won't do!

So, let me fill in what's been happening....

Carnoustie

Our main news is that Matthew has gone overseas to serve with H.M. Forces. Before he left, he had just over a week at home and during that time we had a few days through in Carnoustie at the Links Hotel. We had a great time.

We booked a room which turned out to be a suite. Very nice. There was a double bedroom and a lounge. A bathroom with separate shower and bath and an additional toilet. Susie and I had the double room and Matthew had a very comfortable folding down bed which he dragged into the lounge part and made that into his bedroom. There was a small kitchen area as well and Matthew and me had many a cup of tea. I've put a

picture here of Susie and Matthew in the room. It was a nice and relaxing time, but, I must put in a couple of funny things that happened.

The first was a simple but amusing affair. On leaving the room, we found ourselves in a long corridor stretching to right and left. We turned to the right and walked through a set of swing doors and then along another bit of corridor

toward another set of glass swing

doors. Spontaneously, Susie began to ballet dance (for no reason we can think of other than her spontaneous fun-loving nature). With arms swinging and graceful movement of the limbs she tra-la-la'd her way along a bit of corridor. She went through the glass door and turned to hold the door open for Matthew and me. To her horror, she found that it wasn't us behind her, but a totally unknown man who took advantage of the door being opened for him and passed on through. Susie was mortified! She couldn't believe that a total stranger had witnessed her pirouettes and the rest. Gasping in horror, with hands over her mouth, she asked "How long had he been there?" The truth was that we weren't very sure, because we hadn't taken particular notice of him, or of Susie's antics. We did have a laugh, though! The other incident was really funny. Poor Susie! We are not laughing at you - we promise, sort of. Susie has been on a health and fitness drive recently. We also must congratulate her on losing about a stone and a half in weight - and she's not quite finished there. She's got a small amount left to go. Matthew and I are very proud of her for her achievement.

Well, this story is good! As part of her health and diet drive, Susie has been going swimming regularly. It's not uncommon for her to pop into the pool on the way home from work and do 30 - 50 lengths. And so, with the Links Hotel having its own pool it was too good a chance to miss for her to get a few extra lengths in and for Matthew and me to splash about a bit. So, picture the scene: Susie is powering away doing length upon length of the pool; Matthew and I have done a few lengths and now loitering at one end of the pool chatting and generally doing nothing. Matthew was trying to totally relax, let himself be supported by the water and hold his breath (with his head under the water) for as long as he could. After a few tries at this, Susie arrived at our end of the pool having completed another length. Matthew had an idea: "Mum. I'll hold my breath and see how many lengths you can do before I have to come up for air." "Are you sure?" said Susie, "What if you pass out under water? Will you be OK?" "I'll not pass out under water, Mum, all I've got to do is stand up and take a breath if I run out of air!" "Anyway, Dad's right beside me to keep an eye on me anyway." So, without further ado, Matthew gently sank under water and Susie powered away to complete as many lengths as fast as she could. Now, it's a shorter pool that the usual sports centre size, but still reasonable in length. I stood beside Matthew to alert him to the number of lengths that Susie had completed. As she returned to our end, finishing the sixth length, Matthew emerged from the water to take a breath. Not bad - six lengths. So, after a moment's recovery, Matthew said, "OK, mum. Let's do it again - but, this time go for eight lengths!" "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mum, let's try it!"

So, again with arms and legs powering away in the breast stroke Susie began length number one. All was going well until Susie had just turned at our end to begin length number five. Half-way through this length (as Susie was swimming away from us and therefore, couldn't see us) Matthew popped his head out of the water, took a breath and said, "I really can't be bothered doing this again," So, he stood with me as we watched Susie approaching the far end of the pool.

I think we had the idea at the exact same moment! We looked at each other with mutual understanding and Matthew gasped in a deep breath and disappeared under the water again. Susie turned onto length number six. She ate up the yards of the pool and turned quickly onto length number seven. When she was about a third of the way towards the other end I tapped Matthew on the shoulder and he popped up out of the water and continued his chat with me until Susie approached the far end again. As before, he took a deep breath and sank under the water. This time as, Susie reached our end, Matthew was opening and closing his hands and wringing his hair in the manner of someone who can't hold on much longer. Susie gasped "Is he Okay?"

"Quick!" I said, "Get another length done!" So, away swam Susie with renewed vigour and determination. Again, when she was part-way down the pool I tapped Matthew on the shoulder and up he came for another chat, until Susie approached the other end and then, with practiced ease, he took a breath and slipped silently back into the water.

I think it was on lenght number fourteen that Susie began to get really anxious for her boy's wellbeing. However, with my encouragement she lashed the water to begin length number fifteen. This time, when she was part way down the pool, Matthew sprung out of the water, out of the pool and headed for the changing room. When Susie turned, this time, I was standing over the part of the water where Matthew had been and was saying "Matthew? Matthew? Where are you?" While I tried to part the water with my hands in pretence of searching for him! Susie stood up where she was and yelled out "Is he Okay? Where is he?" We couldn't let her be anxious and worried for more than a second or two. At that moment a smiling Matthew appeared from the changing room and confessed his sins: that for the last ten lengths he had been taking a breather and was really quite relaxed! Susie said, "So, you both have let me do all those lengths - and I was doing them as fast as I could!"

"Och!" replied Matthew, "Look at all the good it will have done you!"

I think Susie has forgiven us, but actually, I'm not sure."

Another activity that Matthew and I have done throughout his teens, is arm wrestling. I've always had strong arms and, althoug he put up a good fight, I've always won. So, as in the photo, you can see that we replayed the event, this time with me a little older and him a lot stronger and fitter (he is in the army!). Well surprise, surprise. He thrashed me! I didn't stand a chance. Mind you, we do want our soldiers strong, don't we?

Late post

2009-10-14T17:28:00.002+01:00

Oh dear! I've been lazy at updating this blog. To be honest, I got a bit frustrated with blogger.com as the editing features don't always do what they're supposed to do. I know they have an interface (that I'm using now) for non HTML writers and it's supposed to convert what you do efficiently into web format. The problem is when adding pictures. If I upload a picture, the upload facility puts it at the top of the text I'm writing and I've got to drag it to the correct position. I don't mind that. But, what happens is that when I drag it to where I want it, a whole lot of spaces appear in my text - maybe ten or more lines of emptiness that I've then got to delete and re format. By the time you've added a few pictures I'm just about demented! Then after I've re-re-re-re formatted the post I'm working on, I maybe notice a slight formatting error somewhere - so, I correct this and then all the spaces re-appear! I know, I should learn HTML, but I really don't want to.

So, that's part the reason for the delay in updating my blog. The other is that I've not been too well, I suppose. But, I'll talk about that in a minute.

MS Update

I've not missed a day's work, but, it's been hard sometimes getting through each day, if I'm honest. I've had terrible trouble with the pain in my head and have been trying out different painkillers, which I'll talk about in a moment. I've not felt very well (related to the pain) and my walking is noticeably worse, at least to me. On the plus side, I have two rest days every week since I've given up dental practice, and that gives me a chance to recoup some energy. My dear wife, Susie, is working so hard and I wish I could make life easier for her, but at the moment I can't. I'm thinking of starting a new business from home and I'll write something about that later, either in this post or another.

Pain control: I was trying the fentanyl patches (a synthetic morphine type drug). I think they helped a bit, but made me a bit 'high' and I didn't like that. So, I stopped them and with great difficulty managed to make contact with the MS nurse at the Southern General Hospital in Glasgow, where I am a patient in neurology. After I managed to speak to her, she said there were a number of drugs I could try. The one she recommended first was Tramadol which I think is similar to the patches, but I said I would give it a go. I've now got some on prescription, but I had some in the house and did a bit of self-medicating and basically, took too much too quickly! I was FLYING last Friday and then when I 'came down' I felt so ill all weekend that I didn't get out to Church at all and going back to work on Monday was 'touch and go'. Anyway, the doc's given me a lower dose to get started on and I'll let you know how that goes. In relation to this, I had an email from an 'old' friend who was telling me about a friend of hers who is on a totally different pain control regime from the one I'm on, so if I don't get any success with this change, I'll be looking in to that option. The difficulty is trying to balance pain control with still being able to function. There's no point in being so 'doped up' that I can't work, or at the other extreme, being in so much pain that I can't get off the couch! Watch this space!

As far as walking's concerned, it's only been bad since the weekend, so I hope that passes and goes back to what it was before. (Notice I didn't use the work 'normal'!). My balance has been very bad too, but I hope that is only as a result of my foolhardy medicine-taking!

Now, that's the MS out the way, so we can get on to the interesting stuff!

Outside storage

This is funny! Let me explain. We live in a converted farm steading with four other homeowners around us, so it's important to take care of the appearance of 'our bit' so it doesn't impact detrimentaly on others who live here. Well, we have a metal coal bunker which used to be square and quite tidy, but now is sort of diamond-shaped through lots of regular use. We also have one of those green storage cupboards that we bought in B&Q which has sagged a bit and the doors don't meet properly. Coupled with a hose reel and a couple of watering cans, plant pots and a high pressure jet washer sitting beside the cupboard, things were beginning to get untidy. So, what to do about it? Well, we decided to get rid of the old bunker and storage unit (they're sitting round the back at the moment, anyone need a coal bunker?). During the summer (well, the summer months would be a more accurate way of putting it), Alan (Martin) helped me clear the ground and empty the storage units and bunker and move the stuff round the back, then Colin (see previous posts) laid the slabbed base for me (Matthew, I think, helped get them from homebase). So, then the units had to be designed. I did that! It was quite fun to measure all the available space and ask a joiner to build the units for us: two bunkers (one for coal and the other to house the water tap, hoses and watering cans, etc.) and a traditional 'sentry box' type storage shed or cupboard. The joiner built them and then phoned me to ask me to buy a woodstain so that the fresh unprotected wood wouldn't sit out in the rain and bad weather we have had recently. So, this is where things began to go wrong! I bought 'Golden Harvest' wood stain, which I thought would be a good choice. Wrong! It should really have been called Fluorescent Orange! It was awful, and when driving home you could see it from a quarter of a mile away. Actually, you probably could have seen it from further, but the trees mercifully obscured it. So, I then went out and bought 'natural wood', which looked a whole lot better on the tin. But, painted on over the aforementioned Golden (Fluorescent) Harvest (Orange), simply made it look like a yuchy caramel colour. The outcome? It's going to be repainted a matt off-white colour. Can't wait!

This picture is taken after painting over the 'Golden Harvest' colour, which luckily, I don't have a picture of.

DDU Dental Teacher of the Year Nomination

I had a lovely surprise this month, I got an email informing me that the dental students at Glasgow Dental School had nominated me for the above award. Each UK dental school can nominate one teacher and then out of two finalists a winner is chosen. I already know who the two finalists are (neither is me!), but it's a huge honour to have been nominated by our students. I sincerely thank them.

Matthew

My dear son, Matthew, is on final training before leaving for service overseas in mid-November. That will not be an easy parting, so I would ask that you remember us all in prayer.

Susie, Matthew and myself earlier in the year near Elgin

Future business proposal

I have got to be practical. I may not be able to do dentistry for as long as I would like, so the decision has to be made as to what I can do if I have to give up paid employment. I have had a serious think about this and what I think I will 'have a go' at is some sort of 'multi-media' type business. If I consider my non-dental skills, I am musical and I am quite good with computers. I've done audio and video editing and enjoy that sort of thing. I could reasonably easily, without too much financial outlay, set up a business coverting video to DVD, with nice labels or use 'lightscribe' to give a nice professional finish, I could put cine film onto DVD and edit videos and put menus in them and such like. I would also like to do something with music and may try composing on a small 'home industry' level. I'll see how it goes and announce here when I'm up and running!

I think that's more than enough for now. If you've read all of this - well done. If you're starting at the last paragraph, then I understand! 'Til next time.

Dumfries and Galloway

2009-09-06T17:02:00.008+01:00

A few weeks ago, when Matthew was on leave from the forces, he and I escaped down to Dumfries and Galloway for a couple of days. For a long time back when we get the chance, we like to go somewhere interesting for a day or two. We have no timetable to go by and we like to 'play it by ear'. That's a nice way of saying that we do what we want!

We drove down on a Thursday afternoon via Girvan and then the satnav led us through the Galloway forest. It's a lovely road if you like hiking. Just keep your eyes on it or you'll very quickly end up in a ditch! Single track for much of it with virtually no other traffic, no mobile signal and lots of trees. It's a most bizarre experience: miles of driving through an empty forested landscape and then, suddenly to come upon a house with cars in the middle of nowhere! How do these people live? Where's the nearest Tesco? Do they have a phone that works and where do they get their water? I could think of a couple of people who wouldn't mind living this way, but, it looks pretty hard to me.

Anyway, we arrived in Newton Stewart and stopped for a bite to eat and then made our way to Wigtown where we stayed in one of the nicest guesthouses I think I've ever been in. It's called Brora Lodge and is owned by a very nice couple who never seem to wear shoes, at least that was my impression. I've stayed in a lot of places - some clean and some quite dirty. But, this place was immaculate. When I commented to them (I've forgotten their names), they said that they furnished it as if they were going to be the guests - it's how they would have liked it. I thoroughly recommend it if you're in the area.

On the Friday, we worked our way south from Wigtown towards Whithorn, stopping of at Garlieston, at least I did. Matthew slept in the car - still catching up on his sleep from his training. I like these old villages. Whereas, the main cities in Scotland, such as Glasgow and Edinburgh and urban towns and villages have 'developed' for modern usage, these old villages have remained as they are, with little change, for hundreds of years. When you look at them, you can just imagine them bustling with activity in the days when there were hundreds of fishing boats in Scotland. Catches coming ashore to be sorted, baskets of fish and horses and carts to take them to the fish fish markets. Other trades and businesses would thrive in support of the fishing industry and the little towns would not be lying almost silent, sadly, as today. I stopped and looked out across the bay towards the pier listening to the Curlew with it's so evocative cry.

From there, we continued along the country roads to the Isle of Whithorn and then Whithorn its self. If my memory serves me correctly, Garlieston was the only stop we made when it wasn't belting down with rain. By the time we covered the extra few miles south, the rain was on again - this time with no respite.

Whithorn is a town of incredible significance to the Christian in Scotland. This was the place that St Ninian came to and built a small chapel called 'Candida Casa' which means 'White House'. It became a centre of pilgrimage for centuries, but gave the man a centre to work from in the preaching of the gospel in Scotland a century before St Columba came to Iona. St Ninian must have been a man of real fire! Stained glass windows portray him as the meek saint with mitre and staff - but, this man was responsible for the conversion of the lowland Picts of Scotland - he must have been filled with the pentecostal fire told of in the New Testament. In those days (397A.D.), when travel was so difficult he even reached the eastern coast of Scotland, and his own disciples reached as far as Shetland! Read a brief account of his life here. He was responsible for building the first abbey in the British Isles and two of his pupils at Whithorn were responsible for the teaching of Columba and the baptising of St Patrick! A spiritual giant indeed - and sadly, virtually unknown. I must say that Whithorn is one of my favourite places in Scotland. The Abbey is gone now, except the crypt and a small part of the original Church, but the buildings in the main street of Whithorn are built from the same grey stones of the abbey, apparently some with original carvings evident! It was too wet for me to get the camera out in Whithorn, but you can read a little more about it here - and also, discover a little of the amazing collection of Christian carved stones of antiquity, of which there is an amazing collection in Whithorn, just behind the main street.

After Whithorn, we had planned to travel up the west road back to Wigtown, but gave up because of the heavy rain, driving back to the guest house to drink tea and lie on our beds and read books. Oh, the joy of being a couple of blokes on holiday!

New floor

2009-09-06T16:26:00.009+01:00

I'm assured that some of you are interested in houses. You know, the sort of things that people get done to their homes, etc. etc.. Yep, I know guys, probably better to skip this bit and read the next section. For those of you still reading, we had a new floor put down in the hall, yesterday. The reason for this is that we live in an area where there is a lot of muck and dirt about and it's all to easy to walk this in to the house. The other reason is we wanted to do it! It's an oak floor with a lacquered finish and it looks great - see the photo (remember to click to see the full size pic).

The feature which I like best, is the recessed door mat (you can see this in the picture). The new floor stops short of the door by about two-thirds of a metre and the door mat was cut to size to drop into this recess. The benefit of this is that it's a good thick mat, it doesn't move when you step on it or obstruct the door, and also that it encourages everyone to wipe their feet as they enter. I saw this in a show home (don't ask me how I ended up in a show home!) and thought it a great idea. It took a little phoning around to locate a carpet shop that stocked it and then it was simple to tell them the exact size and get them to cut it for me (Susie would like me to point out that I did none of this except go and pick the thing up!...but, it was my idea!!). Easy. Next time you pop out to visit you can wipe your own feet on it and test it yourself!

Rainy August!

2009-09-06T13:30:00.002+01:00

Well, it's been wet! The BBC tells us that it's been the wettest August since (I think) records began, but, it's also been the warmest. I think most of us missed that aspect of August because it was raining and it felt cold. But, we're only the people getting wet, not the scientists telling us what we are really feeling.

Well, I've been lazy despite resolutions to pay more attention to this blog. Sorry, if you've been checking back looking for updates.

So, what's been happening? Well, as far as MS goes, it's still there! My walking is slightly worse and my balance along with that. Especially, when I'm tired. Also, I've had terrible trouble with the pain in my head, which is quite debilitating. I was at the docs the other day and since I'm on the maximum daily doze of pregabalin (I mention this in a previous post so won't bore you with repetition), so, he increased the fentanyl patch strength (a synthetic morphine type drug absorbed through the skin), which I've only just started and won't know the true effects until I get back to work. It does seem to be helping, although I've had a few instances of pain, but, it's true test is when I'm in a day-to-day work situation that I'll know the true picture. However, it has made me feel a bit nauseous and lethargic. My driving seems to be OK, which is a big concern. Talking of driving, a dear friend from school days gave me a 'mobility scooter' which had belonged to her mother. I don't need this yet and I hope it's a long time before I do, but, it was a generous gift and I really appreciate that. It folds down and is in the boot of my car. We all had a shot of it round the house - it's actually quite good fun! I just got an email from her a few days ago to tell me that her mum had passed away in her sleep last weekend, which I was so sorry to hear about. When I was at school, her mother fed me on occasions when it would have taken too long to get home and back for whatever event was on in the evening. I have happy memories of her and my sincere sympathies go to the family. Bless you all.

Armed Forces Day

2009-08-02T18:05:00.009+01:00

OK, that's the MS update out of the way for a while. Now I can write about interesting things! Like holidays.

I had four weeks of holiday. Lucky me. Matthew was home for the first week of it. That's when the UK 'Armed Forces Day' took place. Matthew was keen to go along and as his parents, we wanted to go and support him too. It was a great day out and I only wished it had been advertised better as a lot of friends and contacts said they would have come 'had they known'. The first problem was that a lot of standing would be involved. Susie thought of this first and declared "We'd better take the wheelchair."

"Oh no" thought I, "not the wheelchair!" I don't know about you, but, the thought of 'giving in to MS' and sitting in a wheelchair is not a nice thought. I had to admit, though, that it was a practical idea and I overcame my pride and agreed we should put it in the car. I just prayed that I wouldn't meet anyone I knew - which I did. Sigh!

So, we duly arrived and parked somewhere near. I then had to get into the chair and be pushed to George Square. The next problem was that there were about three layers of people around the perimeter fencing and, in the chair, there was no way I would see anything. Not a problem when you've got a big uniformed paratrooper with you: " 'Scuse me, please! Make some room here - oh, thanks very much." I was now at the front - brakes on!There were marching bands, soldiers, marines and RAF. There were veterans who were presented with badges of recognition and the Last Post was played. A Nimrod flew over and, other than a brief disturbance my some thoughtless protesters (they caused a lot of noise just after the service had been remembering the fallen soldiers from all conflicts), it all passed of very well. Susie tried on a parachute and then took a photo of Matthew with a 91 year old veteran which ended up in our local paper and on the BBC - see this link.

Click picture to see full size.

After the proceedings were over, we went for a pizza and had a good natter. It was after that, when Susie was enjoying the freedom of getting me moved quickly from A to B and then to C, we took a little diversion along the lower part of Buchanan Street in Glasgow, which is a pedestrian area. Loads of people and, of course, a former dental student who looked down on me in the wheelchair "Oh, hello Mr Sharkey!" Cringe.

MS update

2009-08-02T17:40:00.004+01:00

I keep forgetting to give an update on MS! Everything else seems so much more interesting, but, here goes:

As I've mentioned, I learned a lot in May when I got a straightforward virus (the microbiological type - although I did recently have a PC version too). My temperature was 38.8C when the doc measured it and luckily it was fairly short lived - at least the viral symptoms were - luckily I'm still here. I knew already that MS behaves badly in high temperatures and that is exactly what happened. I could move my legs, but, couldn't 'weight bear' as the physios would say. I was very weak and lost strength in all my body, including my hands for the first time (I kept dropping my mobile phone when I was trying to text). My balance was non-existent and even when trying to sit up in bed to have a drink of water I would fall back down! Susie had to hold me up by the shoulder and also help me hold the cup to my mouth! I felt like a baby - totally dependant on someone else! I must be honest and say that, for the first time, I wondered if this was a glimpse of what the future could hold. I hope not, but, I'll just take one day at a time - and I'll trust God for each of those days - and not think too far ahead - as that can cause some anxiety and I don't think that's wise. I had other problems too. I don't really want to talk about them here. Sufficient to say that the district nurse had to be called out to help me - and it was very uncomfortable! That should get you thinking!

I was very weak for about two weeks and didn't drive. Matthew, who got home shortly after that, was an immense help to me bringing me tea and food in bed and then when I did manage to get up and was a little more mobile, he was my chauffeur as I wasn't up to driving for a while. Even when I did go back to work, I was really going through the motions and was so grateful when the University term finished and I had a whole four weeks off to rest - and to recover.

Where has that left me? I've given up general dental practice in which I was working two days per week. I now have only my three days teaching at the dental school in Glasgow. Hopefully, having rest days during the week will mean I can give more to my teaching job. That's the plan. My only other report to do with MS is that I had to give in and use a wheelchair when we were on holiday, but, I'll talk about that in a minute - in the next post.

Not plane spotting

2009-07-17T19:52:00.003+01:00

On Wednesday, I and a friend did not go plane spotting at Edinburgh airport.

We didn't. We went plane observing. Honestly. He had a new camera to try out and I brought a flask of tea. I couldn't believe it when a genuine plane spotter came and asked us "if we got the reg of that little Swiss twin turbo that came in about half an hour ago?" I was gobsmacked. They do exist.
It was a great day out. We had a flask of tea and filled rolls and saw some lovely aircraft close-up.

My friend (who wishes to remain strictly anonymous) got some really good photographs, despite the changing weather conditions which went from glorious sunshine to an electrical storm, dark grey skies and lashing rain.

Bird feeder

2009-07-17T08:48:00.021+01:00

I love my bird-feeder!
When Matthew was last home I asked him to drill some holes and place this bird feeder so it can be seen from the lounge window. Here are some photos taken through the window:

I know that this is a bluetit. He (if it’s a ‘he’) is looking a bit old and weary. Remember to click for the bigger picture!

I think these are Green Finches, but I’m not sure. Any ornithologists out there?

This is a beautiful little bird. This is a Gold Finch. Lovely flashes of yellow on his wings and a distinctive red face.

This is a Great Spotted Woodpecker. There are two of them. One has a peachy underside near the tail and the other has a bright red underside. One may be a Middle Spotted Woodpecker, I’m not sure, but as long as he knows who he is we should be OK.

There are others, but for now, I’ll make this the last. These are one of my favourites – the Housemartins. They nest under the eaves of the houses here with mud built dwellings and swoop around the houses catching insects in the air. They are the true acrobats of the skies. It’s like watching the Red Arrows on display. They swoop and dive and with a dozen to fifteen of them at a time it is a display worth watching. If you’re sitting outside reading or having a cup of tea they will streak past you like a bullet within inches of your head. I can think of one or two friends who might find this a bit disturbing! Here are a couple of chicks near to leaving the nest:

Church camp (2)

2009-07-17T08:19:00.005+01:00

I ran out of time to finish talking about the Church camps. Anyone reading this who has never experienced these events may find what I say a bit strange and not be able to relate to it very well, so, I'll try to explain things in detail as I go along.

In the last posting I talked about where we held the camps. I should talk about why? and also refer to what goes on?

Why? Easy question and easy answer. The Church camps give an opportunity for Christians, either members of our Church or those associated with it, to get together for a concerted and focused time of thought, reflection, teaching, prayer and opportunity to get help with issues and problems in our lives that are causing us trouble (this could be anything from those who haven't yet made a decision to follow Jesus Christ and are looking for the experience of forgiveness of sins and receiving God into there lives [a very, very real experience] or those seeking the experience I mentioned before called the baptism of the Holy Spirit (a second experience for Christians [see Acts 2 in the Bible] in which a powerful filling of the Holy Spirit takes place with the associated experience given to "speak in other tongues") to those who have drug or alcohol addictions or been involved in the occult or witchcraft and feel a shadow has entered their lives and are looking for God to remove this from them and set them free. If you're reading this and haven't heard anything like this before, then could I refer you to the first Christian book I ever read called The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson. You'll find a lot will make sense after you read that. (Available from Amazon, etc).
What? What takes place? There are 'meetings' (services) morning and evening with a mixture of Bible teaching/exposition and prayer (mornings) and a preaching-type meeting in the evening, often with the opportunity to respond and come for prayer afterwards. Examples of sermons are available for download here. In the afternoons, there are often activities for children/young people, or after lunch the more mature among us go for a long nap!

Church camp

2009-07-16T18:34:00.007+01:00

Well, it's that time of year again! Church camp. The youth camp has already been with glowing reports on facebook from some of those who were there. This week sees the first adult week (the second week being in August after the English schools have broken up for the summer) taking place at Gartmore House, near Aberfoyle. It's worth taking a minute to think of what takes place, why and firstly, where. When I first started coming along to Struther's Church back in the early 80's, we had camps at Wiston Lodge, near Biggar (I know some of the readers here go back before that, but, I'm just a 'new boy'!). The hall probably sat 120 at a push, it's hard to say. Camp lasted two weeks and a lot of people actually slept under canvas or in hired caravans. The facilities were 'basic' to say the least and the water frequently stopped in hot weather, or simply through the high demand of all these people wanting to wash and drink tea! In the picture above, the meeting hall (games hall) is on the extreme left in white. What the picture doesn't show is the sloping campsite and the huge fanged midges we had to put up with. It all came to a head for me one camp when I remember being in the middle of the field (campsite) smeared in insect repellent, which I couldn't wash off because the water had gone off, just having been to the toilets that wouldn't flush and just thinking "I hate this place!", strangely enough, it was within twenty-four hours that Mary Black (our late minister) said that "the cloud had moved on" (reference to Moses and the children of Israel in the wilderness, who knew it was time to move camp when the pillar of cloud moved forward). The much-in-need-of-a-wash congregation were divided in their opinions as to whether this was a good thing or not - my response was "Hallelujah! Let's go somewhere else!"

However, Wiston was a place of many happy memories for many of us who found God there in depth. I received my baptism in the Holy Spirit there, which changed my life. Many found miracles of healing or deliverance from demon power there. I witnessed a few of these and thrilled at the moving of the power of God. Lives changed forever.

There are many funny stories too. One of my favourites is about in the last few years there when we had the marquees (large tents) for our meetings. The marquee sat at the bottom of the camping field and a cable to supply power for the lighting, sound, keyboard, etc., ran through the trees, across the path and into the chalets. The meeting was in full swing with lighting, sound and music when one of the girls in the chalets wanted to dry her hair with her hair dryer. "Gosh!" she thought, "I wonder what that plug is for? Mmm. It probably isn't anything important." and she unplugged it. You've guessed! The power to the tent was being run off a single 13 amp socket. While she began to dry her hair the whole meeting was plunged into darkness. No music, no sound, etc. While she hummed away to herself Andrew Collins was racing down to the chalet as quick as his two legs would carry him to find out what had gone wrong! Luckily, power was restored, although it probably took that young lady a little longer to dry her hair than she imagined!

We've been to Biggar High School and Craigie College in Ayr. Now, we have a lovely venue in Gartmore House. We have running water, showers that stay hot and a lovely big hall. Numbers have increased probably to 400+ at some meetings and it's all very comfortable - except I think for those in tents, the last few days: the rain has come down as only it can in Scotland. I hope they all stayed dry! I've managed up on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. I'm planning on going tonight too, so I'd better go and get ready. More about the camps in the next posting. 'Til then.

Dundee and Brechin

2009-07-01T22:02:00.007+01:00

It has always appealed to us as a family to have a night or two away from home when the opportunity arose. This week, with me being on holiday, and Matthew still home we took the opportunity of escaping these four walls and heading north of the Tay to the City of Dundee. We booked online using a website that I'm not seen before: http://www.laterooms.com/ and easily secured accommodation that was simple but comfortable. The weather both days was hazy but bright and gradually getting sunnier as the day wore on. We left home around lunchtime and arrived in Dundee less than one and a half hours later. We checked into the hotel and after the obligatory cup of tea, dozed for an hour or more! In the evening we took a drive up toward Brechin along the A90 which is an excellent road, but, watch out for the speed cameras! I've wanted to visit here for a while as there is an old Celtic or Pictish round tower dating from between the 9th and 11th centuries. It's intact and although the Cathedral that is next to it was closed (and I don't think access is permitted to the round tower) we got some good photos from the outside. Et viola:

There are only two round towers left in Scotland, but, quite a few in Ireland. The ones, apparently, that show similar carvings to the one at Brechin are from around the ninth century so, I imagine, that's why this tower is sometimes called 'Pictish' - I suppose we'll never really know.

Today, we simply had breakfast and after returning to the room to rest a bit, we went to see the Discovery - Captain Scott's ship that left for Antarctica in 1901 - and ended up ice-bound for two years, eventually 20 miles from the open sea! It got free after a major thaw and the use of explosives to break up the ice. The exhibition is very good and the ship is impressive, if a little difficult to navigate with a walking stick!

Some photos below. The other project I and my good friend Colin, have begun is to build a computer. I'm hoping to get it finished tomorrow - I'll keep you updated on whether it works or gives out some blue smoke all of a sudden!

Matthew at the helm and the Discovery from the starboard side.

Update

2009-07-01T21:45:00.002+01:00

I can't believe it's almost a month since I last updated this blog. Suffice to say that the last few weeks have been really exhausting and I've not done a lot except working and sleeping. While I'm on the subject of working, I've eventually decided to give up general dental practice. I've worked as a general dentist for twenty-three years - after I left the hospital service in 1986. It's a major change for me as I consider this to be 'what I am' - if you can follow that train of thought. I have always enjoyed the whole experience of dental practice: being at the heart of a team that looked after patients' dental needs. It's what I do. I'll miss the patients, the staff - everything about it. I'm finding the hands on work alright - I may be a bit slower than I was - but, it's really the whole effort of getting there and not having any rest time during the week that is the problem. Hopefully, I can find something to do from home to keep me busy. I'm keeping the three days' teaching going and hopefully, the rest days will make it a bit easier.
Anyway, on a nice positive note it's the end of the academic term. In fact it ended on the 19th June and last week we had some 'in service' time which was good. I gave a presentation on an educational theme about giving effective verbal feedback. It seemed to go down well, but, it's the first time in years that I've been nervous about speaking on front of people. I did it from a seated position, which seemed to be acceptable.
I'm planning on having a few days' rest and catch up on a few things I've got to do and then see what the future's going to hold. Matthew is still here and due back in camp next week. We had a couple of days away in Dundee and I'll post some photographs in the next posting.

Back - at last!

2009-06-04T20:06:00.003+01:00

Well, I'd better get this blog updated! I'm having gentle nudges from friends to remind me!

To be honest - it's been a difficult month. No matter, we're now into early June and things are looking up - including the weather! The last week has given us some of the loveliest weather I've seen for ages. It's been really hot and sunny - and lucky me, I've managed to see some of it, while poor Susie is working all the hours of the day and right into the evening. I hope this coming weekend is good again.

So, what's been happening? Well, I've been back at work a couple of weeks now after my episode of illness as described in the previous post. If I'm honest, I probably went back a little early as my son pointed out to me. I have been very, very tired and have slept some evenings for one to two hours before going to bed for the night! Matthew got permission to come home a little early from Iraq to help out at home when I was ill. They are 'closing down' Iraq anyway, as far as the British army is concerned and they shunted him out early when they heard that his poor ol' dad was in a bit of a state! He was a great help here. He brought me endless cups of tea in bed and prepared food for us (he's turned into a budding chef). When I was a bit better he drove me to doctors and chemists and eventually, for coffee and a short walk (um, from the car to the coffee shop). He gave us very practical help and Susie and I really appreciated that. In the first few days before he got home (when I was stuck upstairs in bed), dear friends from the Church dropped in and made me lunch and stayed to chat for a while. A great big thanks to you - you know who you are. Even the builders were really kind to me and made sure I was ok. Bless them.

One funny thing to come out of all of this is that I can't remember much about the first week of illness. I am reminded that I spoke to various people on the phone and some visitors who came. I have almost no recollection of this. If I said anything unusual or out of character (oh dear - the mind boggles) - I'm really sorry - I had a temperature of nearly 40C and those few days are all a blur! Happily, things are a lot better now.

Update:

The occupational therapist came today to check that the work done in the house is satisfactory. She was really delighted and took a couple of mobile phone pics to show her colleagues. She also asked me how the builders were - and I told her that I couldn't fault them - that I could only speak really highly of them. If anyone is reasonably local and need a builder - then I can recommend a good one - just contact me. Basically, I'm fine. Just tired. I've decided to give up dental practice at the end of June as it's too tiring. It's not the work that's hard, but all the travelling and the time it takes getting there and back. I'll miss it - I've always been a 'hands-on' dentist - and although I'm keeping on the teaching, I'll really miss 'being a dentist' - if you can follow that!

Other news: One of my jobs at the University is to organise visits from foreign students to the dental school. The last four weeks a young lady from Saveetha Dental Institute in Chennai has been visiting us. I've had less teaching commitments that usual so I've been able to show her some of the sights around Glasgow. Here's a photo I took during a short stop at the quadrangles at Glasgow University.

Building works

2009-05-13T15:29:00.008+01:00

Stirling Council have given me a grant to get some alterations done (I do pay a proportion). Actually, I don't get the money and they set the specifications for which alterations take place. I thought they'd just fix a downstairs shower room, but, they said to me that the grant was only awarded once and they would identify the 'needs' and address them. So, begins the list of what they're doing: a wet room, a wider door to it, a wider front door and a ramp to provide level access at the front door. This is the bit I was most nervous about as I've seen some of the metal ramps that are built beside some houses. Anyway, that's not what they've done. They've lifted the slabs on the patio and relaid the whole thing as a ramp with an attractive retaining wall. The builders have been amazing (a private company - if anyone wants a good recommendation!). They're almost finished and it's really beginning to take shape. I've posted some photos.

Lucy tries out the new ramp

Below is the new shower room. It was amazing to watch them work and rip the room apart before rebuilding it with new floor and shower tray - then the floor gets laid on top of that and sealed at the edges.

This is the new front door from the inside. It's wider and the there's no step as you enter.

Weekly update 8th May 2009

2009-05-08T12:52:00.002+01:00

A bit late with my weekly update, I know. Last weekend is a bit of a blur. Our 22nd wedding anniversary was Saturday, and we went out for a nice lunch to celebrate. On Sunday, dear friends Bill and Margaret took us out for a lovely lunch in a nearby restaurant. We were extremely well fed and the service was quick and courteous and the conversation good!

Then I woke up about 3am and realised I was feeling unwell (um, not related to the lovely meal, I think that this had been building up for a few days). I managed to get back to sleep, but, by 6am was really unwell with a high temp and all the usual symptoms of a gastro-intestinal bug. Work that one out yourselves!

By 9am I could not support my own weight or walk. Susie had to support me when trying to move from the bed to the toilet, etc. Even when sitting on the bed I would fall backwards and had to get Susie to support me while having a drink of water.

Other problems developed too and eventually the NHS24 service was called. They spoke to Susie first and then to me. The chap on the other end of the phone wanted me to 'come in to one of our treatment centres' - I told him I couldn't get downstairs and he eventually agreed to get a doctor to come to me. I think all the symptoms (other than the viral ones) were just an exacerbation of the MS. Whether is was the virus or the high temp (MS gets worse in high temperatures) I don't know, but, thankfully I'm a bit better now and able to walk albeit like the original rubber man! I hope my walking gets back to 'normal' (the new normal!) and I can get back to work and regular life! I'll leave it there for now and update soon.

Weekly MS update

2009-04-26T16:26:00.007+01:00

I've decided to have a weekly update especially related to the MS. A couple of things have happened that have brought this about. Firstly, I received an email from friends of a friend who are quite some distance from us here in Scotland, whom I suspect have an MS connection; and secondly, my dear wife, Susie, and my good friend Colin, have (how shall I say?) suggested to me that I concentrate more on how MS is affecting my life as this is the part that is central to what people want to read about. So, I've decided to write a weekly update specifically about MS and its effects, and will be titled weekly update and will be in a different font colour and size (as per this entry). Any other entries will have titles that describe them and be discernible by title and font size and colour (black). OK. So, let's move on. Please do feel free to contact me to tell me your thoughts and suggestions. As of today, I'm putting an email address on the blog so that you can contact me directly - without feeling that the only way to do this is to leave a comment.

MS weekly update 26th April 2009

It's been a difficult week because of pain. I mentioned in a previous entry in the blog that the three main areas MS affects me are walking and balance, fatigue and neuropathic pain. The pain affects the left side of my head and radiates down my neck. It's like having toothache in your head. It's severe, localised and debilitating. I only have relief from it when I'm asleep, which makes sense as the nerves reduce their activity in sleep and I often don't have any pain for a few minutes after I wake up in the morning. When this pain first developed just over a year ago, I began to take ibuprofen 400mg increasing to four times daily. After approximately three or four months of this I found that it just wasn't controlling the pain. I would sit with my head back resting on the back of a chair and be unable to function in any way - work or conversation. Anything. Susie eventually called my GP (I was going to wait until I saw the consultant - she felt this was too far away), and he prescribed diclofenac. I took it faithfully, but, it didn't really help much. Luckily, my appointment with the neurologist was coming up!

When I described the pain to the neurologist he simply said that he could help.He prescribed gabapentin for me. I'll leave out the funny stories about how euphoric it made me (I loved the world and everyone in it for about two weeks!). It helped. It was day and night compared with the other analgesics. I had about 80 - 85% control over the pain and I was able to work most of the day and function reasonably normally. However, if I stepped up the dosage during a bad few days of pain then it made me feel so lethargic and tired that I lay on the couch and slept most of the time.

A couple of months ago, having previously spoken with an oral medicine consultant who recommended a different drug with less side effects, I saw the MS specialist nurse and asked if I could change to pregabalin, which is more expensive, but, has less side effects. I found the same euphoric side effects initially (as the consultant said, I 'stepped up' the dosage too quickly - but, you don't get any pain control unless you take the tablets!). I certainly had better pain control and I wasn't so tired. In fact, I felt the best I've felt for ages and didn't have to lie down so much. I felt I'd got my life back. However, this week has been bad. Whether the pain is worse and simply 'breaking through', or whether the drug has less effect now after a 'honeymoon' period, all I know is that the pain has been back with a vengeance despite the fact that I've been taking the medication religiously. So, what next?

When I spoke to the Oral med consultant, he said that I should try a combination of medications. He suggested fentanyl patches. These are similar to nicotine patches but contain a synthetic opioid. I haven't got these yet, but I think I'll ask my GP to prescribe them. The one side effect that's common with them is constipation - so, I'm off to Tesco to buy a couple of litres of prune juice - just in case!

The molecular structure - for those who like to know these things!

Other areas that MS affects me are standing for any length of time, little irritating things like crossing my legs or getting out of the car. Anything that involves accurate movement of feet or legs. Strangely enough, driving is OK, probably because I'm seated and my feet know what to do. I don't have the balance problem in the car - I think that this is because the seat is molded and helps a lot with support. I'll leave this week's report there and hopefully, have an update on the pain management next week. 'Til next time.

So, how is the MS?

2009-04-24T14:20:00.007+01:00

"I've updated my blog!" called Paul. Susie was in the bedroom next door. It was late and she was in bed, propped up by a miscellany of pillows.

"What did you write about?" came an immediate reply from the long-suffering spouse.

"Em, the Easter Conference and then that programme I saw on iPlayer - you know, that Narnia Code one."

"And, did you write anything about MS?" came the immediate retort with a little more than a hint of reprimand.

"No, I forgot."

"You forgot! But, that's what people want to read about!"

"But, I don't want to write about MS!"

The deafening sound of silence threatened from the next room.

"Oh, OK. I'll do it in a day or two." The husband sighed.

A couple of days later he began to type: "So, how is the MS?......"

A few weeks ago, as chronicled here, I changed my painkillers to a new 'next generation' alternative. Apart from making me as high as a kite for a few days, the pain control was quite good and I felt better than I have done for almost two years. The last couple of days have been a bit rough, though. Whether I had an immediate 'honeymoon' effect from the medication, I don't know; or whether recently, the pain has been worse - I just can't tell. But, I've tried to augment the pain control with ibuprofen with little success (do you really want to know this?!). I'm hoping that this is just a minor blip and all shall return to what it was last week! I'll let you know.

The rest of the MS is as it was, I think. It's hard to tell. My walking varies from morning 'til evening. I can walk better after sleeping and it gradually gets worse throughout the day. My balance is bad all of the time and I've had a couple of near-misses as regards falling, when I've just managed to catch onto some item of furniture or kitchen worktop just in time. I think it's only a matter of time before someone has to pick me up in the pedestrian precinct in Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow! I can't wait.

Let's return to Easter weekend as it's more interesting!

We had a visitor.

The visitor

A strange thing happens on a semi-regular basis every few months in our house. A woman with the same features as her ladyship arrives at the airport/bus station/or on the doorstep looking for somewhere to stay. It's a pretty good deal, actually. She loves ironing and, in return for a bed and a little food she clears the ironing basket. Bless her. The really strange side of it is this: from the moment she walks in until she departs, there is ceaseless conversation between her and the aforementioned spouse. They've known each other for a long, long time, and yet, they never seem to run out of something to say to one another. Bewildering. The other side of this phenomenon is that I get totally ignored. Actually, that's fine.

I'll put a photo of her here so that you also can be confused. Is it the spouse? Is it her sister? It's hard to tell. One of the ways you can tell the difference is to observe certain habits. This particular version (the Polly version) has a habit of disappearing off to warmer parts of the world at cold times of the year. She insists it's not for holidays. But, we ask ourselves, are there any witnesses to this tale?

As usual, if you want a closer look, simply click on the image.

If you can enlighten me on any aspect of these siblings, or their unpredictable - and sometimes downright strange - behaviour. Then please do. I've been trying to understand them for many, many years with absolutely no success.

I've uploaded a photo of both of them together so you can play spot the difference.

Until next time.

The Narnia Code!

2009-04-22T21:28:00.005+01:00

I first read the Narnia books (all seven of them) when I was an adult, probably around the age of twenty-two. They are wonderful children's stories that, if taken at face value are just that, children's stories. But, when one is reading them there is no doubt that an obvious parallel is taking place between the world of Narnia and our own. In other words, the books are allegorical. They tell one story as a way of telling another. The first book, The Magician's Nephew, finds the children 'falling into' another world. At the time they arrive it is an 'empty world'. They find themselves there just at the point that Aslan, the Christ-figure, is creating life in the empty world. It's powerful writing and wonderful to read.

The second, and most famous, of the books is The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. This tells the story, in allegory form, of sin and redemption. In the story, the boy Edmund is skillfully tempted by the witch to eat her Turkish delight. He then, almost unwittingly, chooses the witch (sin) over Aslan (God) and then discovers his ill fate when it is too late. Aslan rescues the boy, but the witch demands blood! She refers to a 'deep magic' (really referring to deep spiritual laws that demand justice) that the boy's life 'is hers'. The climax of the story is that Aslan substitutes himself in place of Edmund and dies at the hand of the witch on the stone table. When all seems lost, Aslan returns to life - declaring that there was a yet deeper magic that the witch didn't know .."that when an innocent life"..gave itself in place of another .."death began to work in reverse." A true picture of what Jesus did for all mankind. The other books have different and exciting parallels.

However, Dr Michael Ward in The Narnia Code, finds a further cosmic meaning to the books of C.S Lewis. I must admit that I was sceptical to begin with and thought that this could be a lot of nonsense (the sceptic in me!). But, when I watched the programme on BBC iPlayer, I had that feeling that something has just quite easily 'slipped into place' and I believe he is right. The programme was excellent and toward the end had interviews and comment from some leading scientists who are Christians. I loved the way one of them put it, something like: "We can interpret the world through science, but there is another way! C.S. Lewis started from the point of man having consciousness and interpreted the world from that perspective" (my impression of what he said - it will not be entirely accurate). When Dr Ward was asked at the end "... and do you believe C.S. Lewis?" He simply answered "I do." If you get a chance to watch it or read the book, do it! Find out more here.

Church Easter Conference

2009-04-22T20:53:00.006+01:00

For longer than I can remember, or have been coming along to Struthers Pentecostal Church, there has been a conference at Easter. I've always thought that 'conference' is not the best name for the event, but I can't think of a suitable alternative, so we're stuck with it (not that I'm in a position to rename it anyway!).

Let me explain for those who are not 'Church folk' or are not members of, or associated with our Church in any way. For Christians, Easter is a very important time; it's the time of the celebration of the rising from the dead of Jesus Christ. The bible tells us that he is the 'first-fruits' of the resurrection, and that those who follow him and commit their lives to follow him, will after death, rise again to an endless life. Fiction? There's more evidence than you think - and recent evidence at that - see http://www.aglimpseofeternity.org/ for Ian McCormack's story of when, after being stung by the box jellyfish many times (one sting can kill you), he was pronounced dead and later 'came back to life' - with an incredible story of what happened in those 'missing' moments.

Anyway, I was delighted that I felt well enough to go to some of the conference. I got to the Friday evening (in Greenock), Saturday evening (in Glasgow) and the wonderful Easter Sunday morning service in Greenock. The original Struthers Church is in Greenock and the conference is centred there. Many people travel from all over the U.K. and beyond to get to these conferences, and as well as the services it's great to catch up with friends I haven't seen for a while.

Photo of the interior of Struthers Memorial Church Glasgow, courtesy of Eric Wylie. (click for larger image)

I loved getting to the three services and found that simply being 'in the atmosphere' was uplifting. I was reminded of the verse in scripture where Jesus says something like: "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst" (Matthew 18:20 - I just looked it up!). There is something special about Christians meeting together (also as the bible instructs us). It's almost impossible to define, but, a special sense of God's presence comes amongst us and there is a refreshing sense of wellbeing and health in the air, and a delight within us that we are there. I loved it and wished I could have got to more of it.

Blog

It was at the conference that I discovered something that amazed me: friends are actually reading this blog! As I was saying various 'hellos' to friends I haven't seen for a while, I was constantly told "We're reading your blog! Please keep writing!" So, I've discovered that this eulogy may well fall under the eye of many a person I don't know about - so, I'd better try to keep it interesting and informative - and watch my sentence construction, content and spelling too! But seriously, if you're reading this, then Thank you! I appreciate it.

Cornwall highlights

2009-04-09T16:14:00.042+01:00

From arriving here last Saturday, we've actually accomplished quite a lot. The weather on Saturday and Sunday was really good and we simply sat around and read and enjoyed the good weather. (Written while in Cornwall. The later part of this posting was completed retrospectively from home - in case the change in the verb tense used causes any confusion!)

Monday, on the other hand, quite suddenly became atrocious as regards the weather, with torrential rain and wind. We postponed our visit to the Eden Project and visited St Ives, which is a typical coastal Cornish village. The sloping town is full of the narrowest winding streets that you can imagine lined with small shops of varying descriptions. Cars and other vehicles compete in managing to get up or down the streets, with pedestrians squashing themselves against the buildings or ducking into doorways to allow the vehicles to pass without causing injury. It's a bit precarious. The first things Susie did was to go into a charity shop and buy an umbrella and one of those all encompassing waterproof smocks (the type of thing that cyclists used to wear before they became all 'lycrafied'). I'll say no more about it except that I don't think it will catch on as a fashion item.

We had fish and chips in the upstairs of a takeaway shop, which was very nice, promptly served and very fattening, then headed back to the guest house.

Tuesday, we went to the Eden Project. This is a feature well worth visiting. It's quite expensive to get in (£16), but, if you like plants flowers and general nature things, then it's for you. It's built in the crater of an obsolete quarry. Several 'biomes' have been constructed which house plants and trees in mimicked 'natural' conditions. There, for example, is a 'temperate' biome as well as a 'tropical', etc.

It really is a phenomenal achievement. There are outside displays as well as those indoors. Beautiful flowers and plants, information on Nature as well as conservation and recycling. There are several coffee and eating places and a gift shop. We never had to queue and our ticket lasts for a year, so, if we were here again we could get in for free. It's a full day at the Eden Project and we were ready for a good rest on our return to the guest house.
Click on any of the pictures to see 'full size'

Wednesday, we went to the Minack Theatre, which is an open air amphitheatre, we first visited when we were first in Cornwall two or three years ago. This was the highlight of our visit. It was built by one lady in particular (Rowena Cade 1893 - 1983, read about her here), who saw this particular piece of coastline and thought it resembled an old fashioned amphitheater. She then set about building it, and it's grown since then to the remarkable size it is today. Both times we've visited the weather has been stunning, with sunshine blazing down upon the water giving and providing us with a lovely experience and the opportunity of taking good photos!

In this photo, you look down at the theatre stage from way up high just behind the back 'row'. This picture shows just how close to the sea and how stunning the location is.

Susie sat and read for ages in one of the 'boxes' (again built into the rock) and I sat about five rows back in a seat literally carved into the rock. I quite happily sat and gazed at the waves and got lost in my own thoughts.

This photo was taken from where I was sitting and shows some of the permanent on-stage 'set'. Looking carefully, you can just see part of the 'box' that Susie was sitting in reading on the left. Obviously, both times we've been here there have been no productions on - as we've visited during the day and the performances are on at night, but you can imagine (weather permitting) how dramatic these productions would be - having a backdrop that most producers could only dream of.

At the top of the Minack Theatre there is a tea room/cafe, in which we felt obliged to partake of scones, jam and coffee. I don't think I've ever been in a cafe with a more dramatic setting. It's literally on the clifftop with windows overlooking the water and adjacent beach.

There is an 'inside' part and an outdoor area where I took this photo of Susie, which I don't mind saying is pretty good!

I'm proud of this photo as I've got one of those 'point and shoot' idiot-proof cameras and nothing fancy, and I still managed to do this one quite nicely!

There are two places in England that we both really like: one is the Minack Theatre and the other is St Peter's on the Wall, which is the oldest standing Church in Britain. I think it's 7th century, built by St Cedd in Essex. When you sit in it for a few moments you can feel the holy atmosphere draw close. It really is a gateway into heaven. Perhaps more about that another time.

Thursday, was a bit wet and windy in Cornwall, so we did go out for a coffee to a little town called St Agnes (to a strange little tea room that had a collection of teacups suspended from the ceiling - probably in excess of a thousand - and a notice reminded patrons that tap water would only be provided for customers taking medication). After that, we went back to the B&B and had a restful day reading and dozing!

Friday, we packed up in the morning as we were going home later on that day, took a run to Bodmin, where we visited Shire Hall, which is actually a court house (I think still in use) cum museum. There are displays explaining law and punishment over the ages, and has evidence on show from a murder trial following the death of Charlotte Dymond in 1844, and also a photograph of a man in village stocks in 1870 - the last year that they were used.

Shire Hall, Bodmin.

The location of the trial of Matthew Weeks, following the murder of Charlotte Dymond in 1844.

Later on Friday, we checked in for our flight home to Glasgow. We flew both ways with Air Southwest, which I had never heard of before. We flew in a Dash 8 aeroplane, twin turboprop, with wide leather seats and lots of legroom! It was noisy, but very comfortable.

We landed back in Glasgow about 4.30pm, headed home and after a very quick turnaround, drove to Greenock for the start of our Church Easter Conference, which I'll talk about next!

New medication

2009-04-06T17:43:00.005+01:00

Three, or maybe four weeks ago, I started new medication for the pain I get in my head. Just like the first lot of medication I had from May or June '08, I was supposed to build it up to the full dose over three weeks. I built it up to full strength in a week!

It made me high as a kite! I happend to see the consultant the following week and when he found out what I'd done he reminded me that I was supposed to build it up gradually. "Yes," I said "that's all very well in theory, but you don't get any pain control without the full dose!" He accepted that this was the case and said the side effects would pass after a couple of weeks. I think that's beginning to happen, although I do still feel a bit lethargic with them.

Overall though, I feel the best I've felt for ages!

I can work most of the day and don't feel so ill.

I hope this continues.....

Setting the captive free

2009-04-05T18:24:00.020+01:00

How familiar are the words "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel ,...... to proclaim liberty to the captives , .......to set at liberty those who are oppressed" (Luke 4:18, NKJV)

"To proclaim liberty to captives" - that phrase always confused me when I was growing up. My thoughts were something like this: "Why would Jesus want to 'proclaim liberty to the captives'? - surely, those in prison (the word some other translations use) ought to be there and shouldn't be set free!" It was a few years before I understood the true meaning of that verse.

In our day the word sin is not very popular. OK, let's use some different words for a moment: what about addiction? That's a good one to start with. We don't have to look far to find an addict of heroin, or other drugs, or what about alcoholics? Well, they are the obvious ones, but there are lots of others that are usually kept hidden and secret and only we know about them ourselves. At least we think we do. These were the captives Jesus was talking about. Those addicted to sin. He came to set them free. It begins to make sense now.

Charles G. Finney, 1792 - 1875

Finney talks about this in the online sermon I read. Imagine a person who smokes and who is trying to give it up. The man or woman involved, tries to 'break the habit' by denying themselves cigarettes and motivating themselves to go through the withdrawal symptoms (I have heard it's worse coming off cigarettes than heroin, whether that's true or not I can't say). Now, I have huge respect for people who do this and I wish them well. But, in my illustration, we encounter a problem. A person can force themselves to stop the physical habit of smoking, but, what about the cravings? They are often still there, and sometimes so strong that they overcome the physical and mental desire to cease smoking. In other words, the physical habit is at one level and the cravings are rooted (and sometimes very deeply) in another. The addiction has gone beyond the physical into what the bible calls our 'spirit'.

So, back to Finney. He gets frustrated at some of the teaching in some areas of the Christian Church which says that you focus on the problem (the sin) and pray and pray until it breaks. Finney says that is absolutely NOT the way to overcome an addiction or weakness. It's trying to fight a spiritual problem at a physical level. In fact, focusing on the problem sometimes gives the problem more attention and it just grows and grows. Focusing on the addiction, or the habit just doesn't work. It becomes obvious, that a spiritual problem must be fought at a spiritual level. But, how do we do this?

I am reminded of C.S. Lewis, in one of the books in his Science fiction trilogy. In either Out of the Silent Planet or Voyage to Venus, the main character, Ransom, returns from one of the planets with a cut to his heel. One of his friends who meets him on his return is a doctor who attends to the wound. But over time, it doesn't heal - it keeps oozing blood and requires to be dressed regularly. The doctor is bemused at this because Ransom is an otherwise very healthy specimen. Then C.S. Lewis uses a phrase something like "a wound sustained in another world requires to be healed in another world" - and that's exactly what I'm talking about now. We try to fight addictions and sin at a natural or human level - and it just doesn't work. We need to look at the spiritual level. So, back to our question, how do we do this?

Well, the first part of the answer is quite simple, we don't do it! We live in the human, natural world. We can only attempt to meet problems on our own level. Only God can deal with matters sin the spiritual level. Jesus came to "set the captive free" - He is the Son of God, he came here to earth on a mission. He also says "Come to me....and I will give you rest!" And, the answer is that it's 'in' or 'through' faith in Jesus that we will indeed be set free. I am utterly convinced of the truth of this statement. Instead of trying to focus on a problem and fight it, rest in Jesus. Quietly, trust in him to face the addiction or problem for us. And suddenly there is peace! I have known this truth in my own life and have only to look very quickly around the Church to see people who were once (for example) drug addicts and been in hostels, rehabs, prison and psychiatric care now totally free and living wholesome lives and in several instances running their own successful businesses. What a living gospel we have!

So, let's add a few words. I said addiction, but, what about obsession, or compulsion? In other words, areas of our lives that are stronger than us and no matter how hard we try we can't get free of them. It could be lots of other things too, like a bad temper, bitterness, hatred, violence - or a fear or a phobia, and a whole lot more besides. This living gospel - the good news - is for us too. A living, loving Power come to set us free so that we may live the life we were born to live!

If you want to read Charles G. Finney's sermon (from 1874), click here.

Blogging from Cornwall

2009-04-05T17:08:00.005+01:00

Susie and I have flown down to Cornwall for a few days. We came down yesterday (Saturday 4th April) with Air Southwest, which I'd never heard of before. It was a Dash 8 turbo prop plane, which was noisy, but OK. The staff were wonderful in Glasgow and Newquay. I gave in to Susie and used the wheelchair in both airports. I was a bit embarrassed, but, the service we got was excellent and were taken through a different way for security checks and didn't have to wait in any queues. When we arrived in Newquay, we were escorted to the baggage reclaim carousel with one of the ground staff then carrying our cases to the exit from the airport, where a young chap from the car hire company then carried them to the little Corsa we've hired for the week. The B&B is lovely. We're in a little village not for from Newquay right on the coast with a lovely beach and waves crashing onto the shore. It's good to get away for a while and I hope that Susie is able to unwind and find it relaxing. I am keen that this short holiday also gives us time to look ahead to the future and find a new vision for the way forward. Watch this space!
Last night we took an evening walk down onto the beach and as usual, Susie had her camera. Here's a lovely shot she took of the evening retiring into night...

A couple of weeks ago, during the time that both of us were unwell with viral infections, I read a short online sermon from Charles G. Finney. I'll talk about that in the next post. Meanwhile, here's another picture of Cornwall taken by Susie yesterday evening (you can guess who's in the picture!):

An eventful week

2009-03-29T15:15:00.022+01:00

Thank you to those of you who take the time to read this. I'm really amazed that quite frequently friends tell me that they've had a read at my blog, even if they haven't 'signed up' as a 'follower' (I don't like that word!). I appreciate the interest. Thanks.

This week Susie and I have been off work with viral infections/terrible coughs etc. I'm definitely improved, but Susie is still quite unwell and frankly shouldn't even be thinking of working this week - but, we all know Susie!

Monday and Tuesday are a bit of a blur due to illness. At one point Susie caught hold of one of our neighbours and asked her to pick up some bread rolls at the local shop as neither of us was in a fit state to drive to the shops! She was delighted to help and we were very grateful that she was willing to do it. I did venture out on Wednesday, briefly, and drove to the hospital for my six monthly check up with the MS consultant on Thursday.

The consultant is a nice fellow who comes from Cork in Ireland. I quite like him and he's interested in his patients, which is encouraging. He asked me how I was managing and chatted about medication and that was pretty much the sum of it. He did confirm that he is not able to help me very much as the particular type of MS I have doesn't respond to drugs and arranged for me to go back in a year's time although I'm free to contact him earlier if I have a problem. After that, I did drive in Glasgow and sat in Costa for a while at the window and just watched the world go by. Having an illness, I've discovered, it's helpful to go somewhere familiar, or to do something familiar (like shopping or walking down a street), to gauge how I feel in these situations and it lets me know how the illness is affecting me, if you can follow that! For example, if you're a good swimmer and you've broken you arm, when you think you've healed - get back in the water and see if you can swim in a straight line! It's only then you realise how far you've got to go (and probably how far you've come).

Nameplates

This week the nameplates we'd ordered for the steading arrived and we put them up. Apparently, there used to be a name for the steading and a 'private' sign - but, these mysteriously disappeared around about the time we moved here. My immediate neighbours and ourselves are from time to time in the position of having to confront drivers who want to park their cars here and go for a walk. It's like some passerby wanting to leave their car in your driveway for several hours and to top it all, didn't even ask your permission first!

It's just that our driveway is more like a large car park and apparently looks inviting! So, we went round the neighbours and got a consensus of opinion and the notices are up! The steading we live in used to be part of Easter Carbeth Farm. So, our part is now simply called 'Easter Carbeth'.

Also, here's a picture of where we live. It's lovely out here and the wildlife is just amazing. You'll see my black car adjacent to our front door.

I said in my last post that I would write about Charles G. Finney. I haven't forgotten! Watch this space.

Also, we had missionaries speaking in the Church in Glasgow last night and they were just great. If I get the chance, I'll write about them too.

'Til next time.

A day together!

2009-03-24T19:11:00.011Z

Well! Susie and I had a day together. Sounds great? Actually, not really. We both are sharing a virus and coughing for Scotland and neither of us could go to work!

Ah well, at least we can console each other in our misery!

Truthfully, we have a lot to be very thankful for and this is just one of those inconveniences of life. We both hope it passes soon.

I've been reading a lot recently. It's taken me ages, but I'm getting through the biography of Elizabeth Fry by Jean Hatton. Its called 'Betsy'. I'm not sure I've ever read such a painstakingly well researched book. It's lengthy, there's no doubting that, but very readable and it does consume one's interest. What a life! Elizabeth Fry, you may remember, was a pioneer of prison reform in Britain in the early 19th century and this spread a lot further afield to Europe and beyond. Those were the days when they locked you up and threw away the key - literally. The description of her walking into Newgate Gaol will give you nightmares! She asked the turnkey to open the gate into the communal area where all the women were - and he refused. She pressed him until he did and he expected her to be ripped apart by the mob of women. She entered alone. She said the stench of unwashed flesh and filth made you gag. Clothes ripped and ragged appeared to move by themselves such was the infestation of lice. What a calling that woman had. It's worth the read.

Newgate Gaol
demolished 1902
(this photo 1895)

The other bit of reading I've been doing is by Charles G. Finney from 1874, entitled "How to Overcome Sin" and I'll say a bit about that under the next posting and give the link to the online source. It's one of the best (quite short) sermons I've come across in a good while.

Nan, medication and birthdays.

2009-03-15T19:00:00.017Z

Today would have been my mother's birthday! I think if she was still living in this world, she would be, let's see..about 87 today! I'm not sure exactly when she was born, 1922, I think. (I searched Scottish records online and think she was born in 1925,which would make her 84).

She died in 1967 in her early 40s from cancer. That's 42 years ago this year. Oh my.

Susan Sharkey (nee Reilly) in the 1940s.

Also, it was my birthday on Monday (9th March). I was working, but in the evening Susie had invited a few friends from Cumbernauld round and made a huge pot of spaghetti bolognese!
We had a great night of laughter, funny stories and memories and some serious conversation too. I got so many cards and a helium balloon saying "Birthday wishes" on it - we've still got to play with the helium and do funny voices! Thanks to all for birthday greetings and your kindnesses.

Medication: I've been taking a neuropathic painkiller for more than six months now. It's great, and it does the job. However, if I've got to increase the doze because of increased pain, it not only takes the pain away, but almost puts me away too. So, I heard of a different drug - the next generation to the drug I'm on just now and asked if I could be changed to that.
The docs said 'yes', but I was told in no uncertain terms that I would have to reduce the first medication before changing to the second. So, this week was changeover week. It's been difficult. The one consequence of reducing painkillers is (obviously!!) that the pain gets worse. And it has. So, I did my best to come off the other medication, and started the new drug on Friday evening. Now I feel totally spaced out!
I hope the side effects pass, because I'm not sure I can function the way I feel at the moment.
Watch this space!

Nan.

Nan is a dear friend. We used to be neighbours, then we moved, her husband died and she fell and broke her wrist and became generally in need of regular attendance. In step Susie.
Susie has gone to Nan's every day for several years now, except on a Saturday. Through Nan's good days and when she's been hospitalised, etc. When we're able, we try to visit her as a family after the Sunday morning service in Church - and she always makes a large pot of soup for us coming. Matthew has phoned her a couple of times from Iraq. That shows how special she is to all of us. Well, she's shaky on her feet and she fell today. So, another visit to A&E. Susie wasn't there this time, so a neighbour called an ambulance. She is due home about now and Susie has gone over to help settle her back into the house and attend to her needs.

Susie, you need about three bodies and at least an eight-day week to deal with all your cares and responsibilities!

Here's a nice photo of Nan with Susie a couple of years back when she was a young 83 year old (Nan, that is, not Susie!).

Get well soon, Nan.

"Colin can do that!"

2009-03-15T17:33:00.012Z

There come certain times in the year I would describe as milestones.
Events like family birthdays and Christmas definitely fall into this category; also, when the clocks change in Spring and Autumn telling us of lighter or darker days. But, there's also another day worth mentioning - and that's the first day you can get out into the garden and start tidying things up after the winter; it's great to get out into the fresh air and get the outside work started.
Well, that was today - and I found it ever so slightly frustrating!

The reason being, that if you want to lift something or tidy something up, it's better to have two hands free! My problem is that I've usually got to hold onto something with one hand so I don't lose my balance, which leaves one hand to try to lend a hand to Susie. She must have found this a pretty poor offer and frequently uttered the words "Just leave that, I'll get it." Or the other phrase, which is the title of this posting, "Colin can do that!"
Let me explain.

I've known Colin for a long time. He's worked at the University of Glasgow since it opened. At least it seems that way. We knew each other before I went to work at the University, and our paths do cross from time to time at work.
When Colin found out I was ill in the summer of 2007, he got in his car and arrived at our house, and he's dropped in almost every week since. His opening comment was usually a command: "Get your boots on, we're going for a walk." Or, "Let's go for a drive/coffee/lunch, etc." Lately, I've been less keen to go out so we stay at home. Usually, that is.

Me, Susie and Colin 30th May 2008

Also, Colin is very practical. He moved into a lovely new house not that long ago and last summer built decking, planted trees, elevated parts of his garden, dug trenches, etc. and generally is a one-man landscaping and decking company.
He's been a God-send here. He's lifted things, dug holes, moved logs, and generally been a great help. He's also got a lovely cat called Justin. I'll try to get a pic to insert here. So, Susie has adopted Colin as her handyman, since she finds my one-handed attempts a bit lame! So, frequently, I hear the phrase "Colin can do that when he arrives!" Poor Colin. As soon as he gets out of his car he is presented with a list of jobs that need doing - and he submits willingly - and all we offer in return is a cup of tea. Thanks, Colin.

JUSTIN

So, my frustration is that the things I used to do without thinking I can no longer do. Poor Susie has much more to do than ever before and friends who drop in, especially Colin, are asked to help out. And we really appreciate that.

So, while Susie and Colin were getting to grips with some of the chores, I put the kettle on and then watched them grafting away. One of the jobs Susie completed today was giving our garden bench it's annual coat of paint. I've included a grainy video to show the finished article. 'Til next time.

A wintery day..

2009-03-08T21:03:00.002Z

Oh, it's cold outside! And perhaps a little cold inside too! No matter, the good weather is on the way - I'm sure!
Well, it's my birthday tomorrow, so, there's still time to rush out and get me a card!

So, another week's gone. Busy and tiring, but that's ok. Wednesday in dental practice pretty well tired me out and the rest of the week was a bit of a blur! However, the weekend came around on cue and it's been good to rest. I seem to do a lot of that these days.

I finish in practice at about one o'clock on a Friday, and since I hadn't brought a sandwich with me for lunch I stopped along the road at an art gallery near Stirling Castle (I can't remember its name) which advertises a 'Bistro' on a board outside. I found a parking place and went inside to the very attractive aforementioned bistro, which had lovely tables and chairs, decor, etc. However, the staff were less than helpful and treated you as if you were getting in the way of their work! No one smiled, no one explained whether it was table service or order at the counter (which it was), when I eventually ordered (soup and a sandwich), I was handed a plastic number and told to find a seat, which I did. After five minutes or so, one of the staff duly arrived with a very attractive platter of soup and nice sandwiches, she then walked away taking the plastic number with her. Only then, I realised that I didn't have any cuttlery. It would have been nice if she'd noticed! I then discovered that the customers are supposed to get their own knives, forks and spoons, serviette, etc. Wouldn't it have been nice if someone had said?! I don't think I'll go back.
Anyway, as I was waiting for my order I gave Susie a quick call on my mobile. She was too busy to speak much, but said that an old friend of mine was in the surgery and, unfortunately, she was talking to someone and wasn't free to speak to me. We said our goodbyes and ended the call. A moment later, my mobile rang again and the caller ID said 'Susie' - so, I answered and said 'Hi Susie!', then I heard a voice laugh at the other end (not Susie), however, I recognised the laugh right away as that of a former dental nurse,called Lynda, from my days in Oral Surgery at the Victoria Infirmary in Glasgow who now works for a dental company and was at Susie's work on business. I haven't seen nor spoken to her in almost 23 years! It was a delight to talk to her and we have arranged to meet for a chat in a couple of weeks. Isn't it strange how the years just vanish in a moment?

I had a walk around the museum after lunch - and for the historians among you- it's worth a visit. A lot of Scottish antiquities relating to the Scottish wars and particularly relating to Bannockburn and the Scottish Kings. There are Roman remains and even more ancient finds, as well as 17th century furniture and paintings. It's smallish, but I must go back and take some time to go around it properly. It was a worthwhile visit, and free too!

Twenty-nine miles later, I arrived home. I was just in the door when, at my back, came a van and car bearing three men. One I've met already, he's responsible for dealing with applications for grants in Stirlingshire where we live. Last year, I called Stirling Council enquiring about grants available for modifications to homes on grounds of disability. Susie and I realised that we'd have to modify a downstairs room and convert it into a shower room and duly applied for the available grant. Well, the occupational therapist came out a few weeks ago (an 8 month waiting list), a very nice lady who took her time to discuss how I was managing at home and at work, etc. She then got her measuring tape out and advised me that doors might have to be widened and a ramp installed 'for when I was in a wheelchair'!! I don't think I heard another word after that! Anyway, a grant toward the shower room wouldn't be a problem. So, things have happened quite quickly after that, and these men were here to begin the process of pricing the work that needs done, which includes a new front door and ramped access in case I require it in the future. Hopefully, not! It turns out that the grant is only offered once and that if a need is identified (by the OT), then the council will act to make adjustments to the property. If I, for example, decided not to let them fit the ramp, then the opportunity has passed and I wouldn't get the grant in the future. I'm happy(ish!) to let them do it. I was quite impressed, actually.

Actually, over the last few months, we've had a few improvements done to the house, basically because they're required, but also because, if I have to give up work one day in the reasonably near future, I'll probably not be able to afford to get some of the things done then. So, it might be now or never!

The one alteration I am looking forward to, and it should happen quite soon, is to get a proper loft hatch and folding retractable stairway fitted so we can get easier access to the loft space and make better use of it. It's a man's thing - ladies, please just move on the the next paragraph!

So, I got to the Saturday night meeting in Church, which was great. Grace Gault was preaching from two verses: 'Cast all your cares upon Him, for he cares for you.' - a message simply of God's love for us all. The second verse was 'resist the devil and he will flee'- she spoke of how we can get comfortable in our sin because it's all we're familiar with, and to break the chains and get free through the cross of Jesus! It was great.

Last paragraph! It's my birthday tomorrow! I've already received some e-greetings and some cards, which I thank you for. Susie has organised for a few friends to pop in tomorrow evening just to make an occasion out of it. I hope I'm not upstairs asleep in bed when they come! Au revoir!

Daffodils and life with MS

2009-03-01T16:07:00.015Z

A strange title, I know. It's just that this is such a lovely time of year and to see the snowdrops flowering at the roadside, and crocuses and daffodils pushing though, is just absolutely wonderful. The feeling that the long dark winter is over and spring is very, very near.
I love it!
I was chatting to Susie about updating my blog, reiterating that I don't want it to be a place where I tell everyone about my aches and pains and simply complain and moan!
She suggested, and I think correctly, that I can make it factual without being negative - because, I don't feel negative. Restricted in some ways, yes, but managing nonetheless. And I think, quite well.

Good things that have happened this week: I met Anna! Anna is the new arrival in the Crighton household. A sister for Matthew and a beautiful daughter for Mum and Dad Rosalind and Andy. She is absolutely gorgeous. She was also blissfully unaware that I was there as she was sound asleep. But, I whispered those endearing words, that much loved lullaby in her ear...."the dentist is your friend, the dentist is your friend..".
I had my annual appraisal at the dental school, which went OK. It seems to be one of those paperwork exercises that we've all got to go through. I've got to update a portfolio showing that in various areas I can provide evidence that I'm up to scratch. The only problem is that the template given to the teaching staff (of which I am part) is the same as the NHS clinical staff. So, a lot of the sections are not applicable. And the areas I would like to elaborate on are absent!
However, I put in some super close up photos of a bur (dental drill) shaping a tooth for a crown. I asked our resident professional photography department to do the pics and they were stunning as you can see.
Also, Matthew called home a couple of times, which was nice, and I managed to get out to Church this morning (Sunday), which was great.
Less than good things, or should I say 'challenges' that happened this week, were:
I got a virus, not the computer type, the microbiological type. It had the best of me for a few days, but then the tables turned and it's well on the run now! That led to me being off work for a couple of days and not achieving all that much when I did actually get there. However, I'll hopefully be back to normal this week.

So, life with MS - what's changed?
I find the effects of MS fall into three categories:

problems walking

fatigue

pain

The problems walking are a real nuisance. Actually, so are the other two, but hey, one thing at a time! I have two problems associated with walking. A balance problem which is there all the time, and a weakness in my legs, which gets worse as the day goes on. If it wasn't for the balance problem, I could walk without a stick probably until late morning when the weakness in my legs passes the point where I can manage without a stick. By teatime, I can have real difficulty walking - it varies. But, the balance problem means that I'm a lot safer using the stick to save me wobbling around too much, even when I don't feel my walking is too bad! It doesn't look good at work if a member of staff is staggering along the corridor! At least using the stick gives the world some sort of explanation and stops them wondering, I think. The nuisance part is simply that I've always loved walking. Just over a year ago I could easily do 5 or 6 miles a day! The dog didn't always appreciate this and I remember her sitting down on the path (after about 5 miles) and looking at me as if to say "You've got to be joking, I can't go any further!" But, she had to! Now, a few hundred yards is a problem, and if I do walk that far, sometimes I wonder how I'm going to get back to the car!

The second is fatigue. It's well recognised in MS that fatigue is a problem. I find that I'm trying to live each day with a lot less energy than before. Imagine driving to London from Glasgow and you use up a whole tank of petrol in your car. Now, you're given a third of a tank of petrol and told to drive back to Glasgow. That's the problem! So now, instead of getting up in the morning and seeing how much I achieve in the day, I now have to think: "What do I need my energy for today?" and plan my day around the important things I've got to do - and also plan rest times to recharge the batteries when I can, like a short nap at lunchtime. Simple things like driving an automatic car instead of a manual have made a difference and using a stool with locking castors rather than having to consciously balance all the time, and unnecessarily uses up precious energy.

Thirdly, pain. When I first became ill, I had a strange numbness in my head. After a few months this turned to pain. Unbelievable pain! Luckily, the specialists were very familiar with this symptom. 'Neuropathic pain', as it is called, is common in MS. It's the result of damaged nerves and can affect any part of the body - in my case the left side of my head. It doesn't really respond to ordinary painkillers (which I was swallowing like smarties!), but responds to drugs originally developed for epilepsy which produce a synthetic analogue of the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) in the brain and target the pain quite effectively. It's not known exactly how these drugs work on this type of pain, but, I'm glad they do! I'm currently discussing the pain control with the hospital and one or two medical colleagues as there may be an alternative with less side effects. We'll see! Luckily, it doesn't stop me sleeping, which is very refreshing.

So, that's it. It's been a difficult week because on top of everything else, the virus knocked me for six. But, meeting little Anna Crighton eclipsed all these difficulties. And getting to Church was a real bonus.

On a positive note to end this post, I have been making an effort to get back to writing and arranging some music. I've got a few pieces in my head that have never made it beyond a scribble on a piece of manuscript - so, I'm determined to get them written out properly. I've also been reading the modern biography of Gerhardt Tersteegen a 17th century Christian 'mystic' whose writings and poetry are just like a breath of something beautiful.

Enough for now.

The old sort of virus!

2009-02-24T13:24:00.006Z

I'm still off work with a viral infection, but, hope to go back tomorrow. Those viruses have got me again and swallowing feels as if I've got broken glass in my throat. No matter, I've been doing some work by email and I've got a few things to keep me busy, but with frequent rests and cups of tea in between. It's been great to get a few comments added and also a few emails from friends. We live in such an age of instant communication that it's hard to believe that when I was a child and at the doctor's or dentist's or some similar place who required your details, that they would ask 'Do you have a phone?'! How ridiculous from today's perspective, with home and office landlines, mobiles (one of my colleagues has three), texting, emails, online instant pc support, etc. Is it real progress? Or have we lost the reflective moment to compose a thought-out (non-instant) reply? I mean, who remembers partylines?

Anyway, it's to my advantage now, that I can update this blog from home and friends can get in touch with me. Learning to touch type was one of the best things I ever did when I was 16!

To my surprise...

2009-02-23T10:59:00.004Z

I didn't get to any Church services this weekend as had a virus on top of everything else and had to stay off work today. But, Susie got my blog announced at Church on Sunday morning and lo and behold I now have 10 people following my blog. I can't believe it!

What I want to make sure is that this blog is not a place where I update you on my woes! I actually don't feel I've got any - just challenges to overcome!

I was reading "The Key to Everything" this morning by Norman Grubb and he says the exact same thing: "This is what (the Christian) life is basically: Another living His life in me. You've got the key to everything. Every problem becomes an opportunity. Every tough spot becomes a chance to enjoy the luxury of seeing Him deliver us out of it. And you welcome such spots."

So, let this blog be the beginning of things. He may deliver me out of my illness or He may not.
That's fine with me. What He will do, whether I'm healed or not, is to 'deliver' me into a new place in Him where it doesn't matter what happens to this body anyway. And all for His glory.

So, what's MS?

2009-02-22T11:41:00.004Z

Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is a neurological disease. That means it affects the nerves and appears to do this 'centrally' - in other words it can affect the brain and the spinal cord. The other name for MS is 'demyelinating disease' - but, MS is easier to say.

No one knows what causes it, but there are a few pointers to why someone might get it. Of course, I've only found this out since being diagnosed and didn't pay much attention to it before that.

Scotland is the world's capital for MS. We have more here than anywhere else in the world. In fact, the further away you get from the equator, the more MS you find - with the exception of Norway, and I'll come back to that later. This suggests that sunlight may have an effect. Sunlight helps us produce vitamin D, therefore the less sunlight the less vitamin D. It's apparently estimated that two-thirds of the Scottish population are vitamin D deficient. We should all take supplements or eat more oily fish. Let's bring Norway back in here - in the north of Norway, they eat far more oily fish and this seems to be a factor in reducing the incidence of MS and therefore bucking the trend of the rest of the northern hemisphere.
As in my own experience, viruses appear to cause or trigger MS. In a talk I was at a few months ago given by a Canadian specialist (the Canadians are well ahead of us in MS research) he cited an example of a pair of identical twins. One had had a specific virus and the other one hadn't - the first had MS and the second one didn't. This doesn't mean every time you have a virus you're going to get MS! There are other factors involved and not all of them known or understood.

Known factors are:

A genetic susceptibility
Lack of sunlight and hence
Lack of vitamin D which is made by the action of sunlight on our skin.
viruses.

So, what's the effect? The nerves are covered in an insulating coating called myelin. Think of an electrical wire covered in a plastic coating. Well, the myelin gets damaged and the signals are disturbed or don't get through at all. This can cause weakness, paralysis, pain and lots of other unpleasant effects. Strangely enough, it's our own immune system that does the damage - in medical terminology 'autoimmune'. Our antibodies and defence cells attack our own nerves. The disease affects me in several ways: firstly, weakness in my legs, difficulty with balance and severe pain on one side of my head/neck. Luckily, I've got great painkillers. The other serious effect is fatigue. I run out of energy by late afternoon and spend the evenings resting or sleeping. That helps the nerves recover and I can walk better after sleeping for a while. Interesting.

It's a progressive disease, which means things get worse. But, there's no telling how long it will take. MS is also categorised into subtypes, but I'll write about that later.

Remember, this is only my understanding of the illness. I might alter my thoughts after more reading. But enough for now.

Roman Fort

2009-02-22T11:20:00.007Z

Alan Martin, from the Struther's Church near London is staying with us this weekend. Yesterday we decided to go out for a short time, and after going on a small errand to Kirkintilloch we decided to go to see if the Roman remains at Croy or Twechar were easily accessible. From Kirkintilloch, you follow the signs for Kilsyth for a short distance and then turn right to Twechar. The first thing you notice about Twechar is a distinct lack of sign posts. As you arrive towards the village, the canal is on your right. There is no signpost telling you to turn right into the village! It would be all too easy to drive straight on and miss it completely. So, we turned right into the village. Part way along the road, there is a sign indicating that Barrhill Fort is a quarter of a mile walk to the left. So, we tried to find somewhere to park - problem number two!

Eventually, we parked outside some industrial units opposite and began our reasonable short walk to the fort. Next problem: It's at least a mile! And it's all uphill. Again no signposts, so luckily we came across other walkers/cyclists who directed us. Frankly, I shouldn't have walked so far and I'm paying the price now with ultra wobbly legs last night and today. When we eventually found the site, there's not a great deal to see, but we found it interesting anyway. Looking down from the site of the fort you can easily see the remnants of the Antonine wall and suddenly the history all becomes alive. The wind was blowing so hard and cold we couldn't stay too long and headed back down to the car. It was good to be out and to walk a bit - even if it was a bit too much. These sites are on our doorstep and I've never bothered stopping before. Glad I did. Tourist photos available here

Going live!

2009-02-21T20:30:00.004Z

OK. I'm a bit nervous about this, but, I've put a link to this new blog on Facebook and emailed it to some friends. Please feel free to comment!

In time, I hope to add some videos of some of my own music and some other pictures of friends.
Be warned! Your picture might be up here next!

My family

2009-02-20T20:39:00.005Z

This is my favourite photo of Matthew and Susie.

In this picture taken at a recent wedding in the Church, I think they both look happy and relaxed. It also shows how much taller Matthew is than his mum!

Susie is a dental practice manager working long hours, but I think enjoying it all. She works in an implant practice not far from here.

Matthew, in this photo, is approaching 21. He is a great son, full of life and fun and takes care of his ol' dad! I think we as a family have always been close to each other, which is a blessing to me and Susie. He joined the army and seems to be happy with his choice of career. We wish him well.

Diagnosis

2009-02-20T19:49:00.001Z

I've just noticed that the my blog starts at the bottom of the web page and works backwards! So, scroll to the bottom to get the first entry. I don't know how to change the layout!

I first saw the neurologist at the Southern General Hospital in March 2008. He was very thorough. Testing reflexes and eye movements. I could do all of the tests he asked me to do except for the walking in a straight line - in what we used to call 'baby steps' - I fell over! He wanted me to do this with my eyes open then with my eyes shut. Luckily, he was good at catching! As a result of this problem, he ordered an MRI scan of brain and cervical spinal cord. I had to wait a few weeks for this, but eventually got this done. It was like being inside a large vibrating and noisy cylinder. I found it OK though, other than having a coughing fit part way through. I was given a review appointment to see the consultant in June 2008, which was when I discovered that I had MS. It was a bit of a shock, I suppose, but this is where my Christian faith really helped (we either believe God's in control, or we don't). I committed the whole matter into God's hands and I've never felt bitter or 'why me?' at anytime then or since.

So, I had to learn to live with a progressive neurological illness - and so did my family.
My walking was getting quite bad, and by July/August time, I had to start using a walking stick. Not all the time, but increasingly since then. Coming right up to date, I use the stick always when out and about and also at work, which took a bit of getting over the embarrassment.
I'll leave it there for now and write more about MS support and what life is like now.

Thanks for reading!

Psychiatry to neurology!

2009-02-20T19:27:00.002Z

After coming home from work on the Friday I mentioned, back in 2007, I lay almost every hour of the day on the sofa in our lounge. My wife and son constantly badgered me to go to the doctor. I just wanted to lie there. The only positive outcome of that time was losing almost two stones in weight as I couldn't be bothered eating!

Eventually, after four weeks, I gave in and was taken by my wife, Susie, to the docs. He listened to me and to Susie. I was finding it hard to put a sentence together as I couldn't concentrate on words and meanings, etc. (couldn't read or even listen to music as it took too much effort). The doctor agreed with Susie that I was probably suffering from depression. And, true enough, when I filled out the questionnaire he put on front of me, I had to admit that I had depressive symptoms. "But, what about this dizziness I've got? And this strange numbness in my head on the left side?" I asked. He said that depression could bring strange symptoms and it would all probably go away. It didn't. It got worse. Much worse.

That was in July 2007. By Christmas, the numbness in my head turned to pain and my balance and walking were getting worse. I loved walking. I was out on the West Highland Way almost every day (we live beside a section of it), and although I wobbled a bit like a drunk man from time to time, I loved getting out and being among the hills and moors - watching the timid deer in the distance and the buzzards soaring overhead. I could never tire of that.

With some difficulty, I returned to work around Christmas 2007. I had seen a psychiatrist (remember they were still treating this as depression and I was looking for all the help I could get!) who arranged for me to work half days for a month to ease myself back in. I was back to work, but I knew something was far from right with my health - and I was pretty sure the problem was in my head - so, I asked my GP to refer me to a neurologist. The GPs words were "OK, but they won't find anything."

Welcome

2009-02-20T18:14:00.001Z

Welcome to my blog!

A number of friends have encouraged me to keep a weblog (blog) particularly of my health since I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in June of 2008. This also allows me to comment on life in general and lets friends and family get (hopefully) regular updates.

For those who don't know me, my name is Paul Sharkey, I'm a dentist working in both teaching dental students in the University of Glasgow Dental School and in dental practice in Stirling in Scotland. I have been married since 1987 and have one son, Matthew, who's in the army and away from home at the present time.

So, about MS.

Three or four years ago, I got a virus. I had what I would describe as 'a bad flu'. I hadn't felt so bad in a long, long time. I knew that there were some neurological effects as my vision was slightly blurred and my balance was affected - although, that could have been ears being affected rather than brain. I felt so ill that I didn't even think of seeing a doctor - I just wanted to lie in bed and sleep. This lasted about two weeks. My vision returned to normal, my balance took a bit longer and the only residual deficit was that my spelling was never the same again!

Other that that, I got better and pretty well forgot about it.

In the summer of 2007, I found myself in a very stressful situation at work. I remember this all coming to a crisis on one particular day when I had the nearest thing to what might be called a 'panic attack'. I felt as though I had been injected with adrenaline. My muscles tightened, my neck got tight and painful. All I could think of was getting home. This was a Friday - I got home, lay on the couch and thought if I just rested for a couple of days I'd be fine. It turned out that I was off work for five months.

When I recounted these incidents to the MS consultant after I was diagnosed, he told me that I had probably had MS before this and that the two crisis incidents that seemed to trigger MS and make it active were viruses and stress. I'd had both. And so, my story begins!